Lyrics
I got demons on my back
I have burdens or inner struggles that constantly trouble me.
Only thing make me safe is the pill to take a nap
The only thing that provides relief is using pills to fall asleep.
Hopin' it's a dream but it's facts
I hope what I'm experiencing is a dream, but it's actually the reality.
He ain't Ricky, so no bullets to his back
Unlike the character Ricky from a certain context, there are no bullets aimed at his back.
A trench baby wakin' up to the killin' on his mind
A person raised in difficult circumstances who wakes up with thoughts of violence on their mind.
Counted me out, I put the city on my back
Despite being counted out or underestimated, I've carried the weight of the city on my shoulders.
The weed ain't gettin' stronger so he fallin' into crack
The marijuana's effect is not strong enough, leading him to resort to crack cocaine.
Nine to forty-five on probation, it's a trap
Being on probation with access to firearms (nine to forty-five) is a dangerous situation, a trap.
I made this before the Grammy's
This song was created before achieving success at the Grammy Awards.
If I win a Grammy, I'ma take it to the trenches, to the family
If I win a Grammy, I'll bring it back to the disadvantaged neighborhoods and my family.
We might sip some lean, none of that bein' fancy
We might consume a drug mixture called lean, but we don't focus on extravagance.
Knowin' I'on't 'posed to be alive sadly
Realizing that he shouldn't be alive due to the dangers he has faced.
Bro'nem died, they say, "I know you used to death"
Friends or close ones have died, and people acknowledge his familiarity with death.
I wanna blame the niggas, I just hold it to myself
He desires to blame others, yet he keeps those feelings inward.
Bad thoughts, like I'ma hold it to his neck
Thoughts of violence, suggesting harm to someone else.
Shit, I'm tryna hold it to his chest
He wants to cause harm to someone's chest.
I'm just wonderin' if I'm too grown to shed tears
Questioning whether he's too mature to cry.
My soul ain't been the same, I been so damaged through the years
His inner self has been deeply affected by past traumas over time.
Wish distance between death, it made me closer with my kids
The physical distance from death has brought him closer emotionally to his children.
I fell out with some niggas, made me switch up all my cribs
Disagreements with friends led him to change his living arrangements.
And when I drop locations down the street from where I live
When sharing his location, it's close to where he resides.
No tellin' what's on your mind (your mind)
There's uncertainty about what's going on in someone else's mind.
And why you tryna sell me lies? You know it's over with
Asking why someone is attempting to deceive him when the situation is already finished.
If you ain't ridin' on family time, then it's over with
If someone isn't prioritizing family time, the connection is over.
Bro act like he ain't bogus, but he know he is
A friend behaves dishonestly, aware of their deceitful actions.
I'm holdin' back my tears to get my vocals clear
Suppressing tears to ensure his singing voice is clear.
No, do you think he had your back? (No, no-no, nah)
Asking if someone really supported him, indicating a negative response.
Do you love him? (No)
Denying love for someone.
Do you really call him your brother? (No, no-no, nah)
Questioning the legitimacy of calling someone a brother.
No tellin' what's on your mind
Similar to line 23, expressing uncertainty about someone else's thoughts or intentions.
The graveyard that felt my pain, I put my knees in it
Feeling the pain deeply, symbolized by kneeling at the graves of loved ones.
I parked the Lamb outside my block, I leave my keys in it
Parking an expensive car in a familiar neighborhood, displaying confidence or bravado.
Probable cause, they tried to say I smoked some weed in it
Police tried to accuse him of a crime involving marijuana, but he knows it's untrue.
I knew it was cap, after I smoke I spray Creed in it
After smoking, he uses a high-end cologne, "Creed," to mask the smell.
No tellin' what's on your mind (your mind)
Reiterating uncertainty about what's going on in someone else's mind.
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