Backwards Mind
Backwards Mind: Battling Inner Turmoil
Lyrics
A backwards mind
A state of mind that is reversed or confused
Mixed with lost thoughts and a lost past
Mental confusion compounded by a forgotten history
Makes you go crazy
The combination of a backwards mind leads to madness
That's a backwards mind
Reiteration of having a mind in a confused state
Life
Reference to life
Mind twisted but I'm just too stubborn to fix it
Despite a twisted mind, reluctance to seek correction
Just another witness to see my life get twisted
Observing one's own life spiraling into chaos
I'm sick of this world cause I'm always living in sickness
Discontent with the world due to constant hardship
Feeling so distant like I'm non-existent
Feeling emotionally distant and overlooked
All my life 'I was an square that didn't fit anywhere
A sense of not fitting in throughout life
Cause no one cares, (Nah), when my tears fall
Lack of empathy for personal struggles
I got the mind of an alien that doesn't exist
Identifying with an alien mind that society rejects
I couldn't fit cause I was different
Difficulty fitting in due to being different
From the crowd that would judge me 'everywhere I went
Facing judgment from the crowd
I was broken up inside, so I had to re-invent
Internal brokenness leading to self-reinvention
But the outside world was tearing me apart
External world causing internal turmoil
By ending my career, so I couldn't restart
Career-ending experiences leading to despair
I needed some help, I was an wounded shark
Metaphorically wounded and seeking help
That needed help finding light cause I was in the dark all my life
Struggling to find light in a dark life
And my mind wasn't right
Mind not functioning correctly
Leading me to the wrong directions, It was nothing in sight
Feeling lost with no clear direction
So what's the point of this life?, why do I put up a fight?
Raising existential questions and expressing frustration
Why do I always have problems sleeping at night?
Insomnia and internal struggles
Why do I act like I'm alright when deep inside I'm going crazy?
Pretending to be okay while internally struggling
Feeling suicidal man, can anybody save me? and my backwards mind?
Expressing deep emotional pain and a plea for help
Promised dreams got lost when I lost myself
Loss of promised dreams accompanies self-loss
Been confidential and I've always kept my thoughts to myself
Keeping thoughts private, even in moments of failure
When I failed, It was nobody's fault but myself
Taking responsibility for personal failures
But I just wouldn't talk when I needed some help
Silence despite the need for assistance
Cause I felt like I could handle everything by myself
Believing in self-sufficiency but realizing limitations
But I couldn't, so I tried to make a plan for myself
Attempting to plan independently but facing setbacks
But It backfired, then I flew right on the shelf
Failure leading to feeling discarded and neglected
I felt extraordinary pain, It was bad for my health
Experiencing intense pain affecting mental health
Cause I kept it inside, It was destroying my mind
Internalizing emotions, hindering creative expression
Keeping me from writing thoughts, I was lost and blind
Self-pity and feeling directionless
I felt bad for myself, then I started not to care
Indifference towards personal well-being
Like the only thing for me to do was disappear
Contemplating disappearing as a solution
I was an broke man, surrounded by rich pioneers
Feeling economically disadvantaged and judged
That looks down on people like me with a stare
Society's discrimination against those with disabilities
This world won't accept a person with an disability
Dealing with prejudice and lack of recognition
They look at us and say that we don't have the ability
Challenging societal views on capability
To do anything cause we don't get respectability
Expressing mental health struggles, specifically bipolar disorder
I'm physically insane, bipolar is killing me
Acknowledging personal chaos and stress
I'm literally a mess, dealing with the stress
Describing personal struggles as a literal mess
Moving side to side like an game of chess
Metaphor for life's challenges resembling a chess game
I feel the pain in my chest, will it be my last breath?
Expressing physical and emotional pain
Somebody come save me cause I just want rest in peace without an backwards mind
Plea for salvation from a troubled mind
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