Handlebars

Expressing the intent to take two Xanax pills.

Feeling unable to control oneself, akin to not having two hands to catch oneself.

Being in a trance or altered state just before leaving or doing something.

Leaning in a seat, possibly intoxicated, and others identifying the speaker's association.

Others confirming the speaker's association with someone.

Expressing a desire for others to focus on themselves and leave the speaker alone.

Repetition of the plea for solitude.

Questioning assumptions about the speaker's awareness of their actions being wrong.

Acknowledging the awareness that the actions are wrong.

Expressing difficulty in letting go of addictive behaviors represented by "handlebars."

Repetition emphasizing the struggle with letting go of "handlebars."

Said I just cannot put down these handlebars

Continued struggle and repetition of the theme of grappling with addiction.

Yea I need help

I just killed that bottle did it by myself

Look I don't need no cup don't need nobody else

Aye sippin on what's sitting on the highest shelf

RIP my health

Sip that purple soda

Yea codeine in my urine every time I pour up

Lace my blunt I'm tweaking mouth gon start to foam up

I'm distancing my self that's way before the rona

I'm something of a loner

Cause I can't fight the shit I'm addicted to

I swear I'm living in shame

If it's offered to me I'm might hit a few got imbalances in my brain

I'm always drowning in a liquor pool trynna take a swim in my pain

While they look at me like I'm lame, the world don't love me the same

I'm like worry bout yourself and leave me alone

Leave me alone leave me alone

And why do you assume I don't know it's wrong

Cause I know it's wrong I know it's wrong

But I just cannot put down these handlebars

These handlebars these handlebars

Said I just cannot put down these handlebars

These handlebars these handlebars

Describing the speaker's struggle with substance abuse, attempts to stop, and relapses.

I wanna stop but I can't

My withdrawals keep getting worse

I try to ride it out then I faint

So I pop another just to mellow out and I'm right back where I started

And that's when it hit me the hardest

Feeling lethargic, likely a consequence of substance abuse.

Reflecting on how life events and depression contributed to the current state.

But then life happens and depression hits

I couldn't cope on this downward slope

But god damn these anti depressants hit

Expressing frustration with judgment and the feeling of being forgotten.

So ya'll judge me then forget about me

Feeling isolated and unimportant in the world.

Struggling with personal demons and the impact on relationships and self-esteem.

Never thought that I'd be the reason

Everyone around would start leaving

My whole life I felt so defeated

Expressing a desire to overcome addiction for a limited time, possibly seeking support.

And I hear when they guaranteeing

I'll keep it up for a season

Repetition of the theme of others' judgment, the speaker's awareness of wrongdoing, and the difficulty in letting go of "handlebars."

Leave me alone leave me alone

And why do you assume I don't know it's wrong

Cause I know it's wrong I know it's wrong

But I just cannot put down these handlebars

These handlebars these handlebars

Said I just cannot put down these handlebars

Final repetition and emphasis on the struggle with letting go of "handlebars."