#18
Embracing Growth: A Journey from Self-Pity to Self-Improvement
Lyrics
I am
I exist
Watching myself
Observing my own actions or life
From outside of the house I grew up in
Reflecting on the home of my upbringing from an external perspective
How our mom used to place the plates on the table
Recalling how our mother set the table with plates
Day after day aligned perfect with the silverware
Describing the routine of perfectly arranged meals
We were in our room watching bullshit on tv
Recollecting moments in our room watching unimportant content on TV
Her tired eyes we didn't notice for
Noticing our mother's fatigue in her eyes
Much longer
Realizing this fatigue persisted for an extended period
She always managed, somehow
Acknowledging her ability to cope despite challenges
While we were out
While we were away, pursuing something
Chasing the grey sky and
Pursuing a seemingly gloomy or difficult path
Blaming everything wrong with us on you
Attributing our problems to someone, possibly the speaker
The first time I shaved it wouldn't stop bleeding
Recalling a significant moment of vulnerability, perhaps adolescence
And I couldn't take it anymore
Expressing emotional exhaustion and frustration
Every single piece of glass I thought was a memory we didn't have
Questioning the authenticity of certain memories
But now we're in touch and my heart stops
Being in contact now, experiencing a profound emotional impact
When I hear your voice on the phone
Feeling a deep connection when hearing a familiar voice
But when we're done talking it's like nothing has changed
Realizing that after conversation, things revert to a familiar, unchanged state
You're not there anymore, just like before
The absence of the person after the conversation, reminiscent of the past
I've felt sorry for myself for so long
Acknowledging a prolonged self-pity, possibly due to past experiences
It's just recently I learned to let go
Recently finding the ability to release anger, sadness, and missed memories
Of the anger, of the sadness and the memories we missed
Committing to improvement and being present in the future
I'll do better
Expressing a determination to do better in the future
I'll be there
Promising to be there for oneself or others
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