Lyrics
I was used to coping in the wrong ways
I was accustomed to dealing with challenges in unhealthy ways.
Long days trying to get along by myself
Enduring extended periods attempting to manage on my own.
Trying to prove that I didn't
Attempting to demonstrate that I could handle things independently.
Need help with this
Denying the need for assistance in this matter.
As I compromised my health
Compromising my well-being in the process.
With my selfishness
Due to my self-centeredness.
Was it shame or was it pride?
Uncertain whether it was shame or pride influencing my actions.
The reason why I keep my
The rationale behind keeping my emotions deeply concealed.
Feelings buried deep inside?
Questioning if shame or pride led me to hide my feelings.
The reason why I dealt with
Dealing with my emotions privately.
These emotions out of sight
Handling emotions in a way that keeps them hidden.
It took me too long to realise
Realizing too late that I had nothing to hide.
That I had nothing to hide
Recognizing that there was no need to conceal anything.
Because I
Expressing a desire to stop feeling ashamed.
I don't wanna feel ashamed anymore
Rejecting the feeling of shame.
I don't wanna feel to blame anymore
No longer wanting to be held responsible.
I don't wanna feel the pressure
Rejecting the pressure to be in control of everything.
Like I've gotta be in control
Not wanting to feel compelled to control every aspect.
Of everything that I
Including my words and actions.
Say or every single move I make anymore
No longer desiring to be judged for every move I make.
I'm tired of always trying to
Expressing weariness of consistently appearing superior.
Appear like I'm above this
Fed up with deceiving the people I care about.
I've had enough of lying to
Having had enough of lying to loved ones.
The ones that I love
Recognizing that self-sufficiency came at a high price.
Self-sufficiency was never worth the cost
Acknowledging losses incurred while pretending to be something I'm not.
And I've lost more trying to
Lost more in the pursuit of being someone I'm not.
Be something that I'm not
I've been quiet for too long
Remaining silent for an extended period.
I've been in denial far too long
Being in denial for too long.
I've been trying far too hard to keep
Struggling excessively to maintain emotional defenses.
My guard up on my own
Attempting to keep my guard up independently.
So catch me when I fall
Requesting support for when I falter.
Convince me I'm enough
Seeking reassurance that I am sufficient.
Support me through these thoughts that feel
Asking for assistance with overwhelming thoughts.
Like all I've ever known
Feeling like everything I've known is challenging.
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