Lyrics
I think I'll stay at home today
I choose to stay home today.
My bed's a rock
My bed is uncomfortable or unsupportive.
My muscles are drained
I feel physically exhausted.
Cause outside's too much on my pressure plate
The external world is causing stress on me.
I just sit and think
I spend time contemplating my thoughts.
Feel awful again
I feel emotionally distressed.
Feel awful again
Repetition of feeling awful emphasizes emotional state.
I said, don't you wait for me
Asking someone not to wait for me.
If I want to be anonymity
Desire for anonymity or solitude.
If I have to feel like I can't be seen
Feeling invisible or unnoticed by others.
I don't need to speculate the reasoning
No need to analyze or overthink situations.
All the time
The struggle with this feeling is constant.
Can I clean my head?
Expressing a desire to clear one's mind.
Always a mess
Life is consistently messy or chaotic.
I said a line I will regret
Regret over something said recently.
Two days from now
Uncertainty about the future.
I can't know how it ends
Unknown outcome of a situation.
I'll just shower again
Using a shower as a coping mechanism.
I'll turn the tv off instead
Choosing to turn off distractions (TV).
Feel awful again
Reiteration of feeling emotionally distressed.
I said, don't you look at me
Requesting not to be scrutinized or judged.
That way
Expressing discomfort with being observed.
It's hard to have agency
Struggling with having control or influence.
And if I have to feel sorta bad everyday
Acknowledging a consistent negative emotional state.
I don't need to act
No need to pretend or conform to societal norms.
Or live in normalcy
Rejecting the idea of living a normal or conventional life.
All the time
Reiteration of constant internal struggle.
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