Sincerely, Fuck You
Alone in Silence: Pardyalone's Heartfelt Battle with Demons
Lyrics
I'm so alone shut up, I ain't mad at you
Expressing a feeling of loneliness but not blaming the listener.
I found peace in the silence
Feeling calm and content in the absence of noise or disturbance.
Call my name and I'm back to you
Despite seeking peace, the mention of one's name brings the speaker back to the person addressed.
I'm getting sick of the hiding
Tired of concealing or avoiding something.
All this time I've been spending alone low
Feeling exhausted from spending a lot of time by oneself.
Getting sick of anxiety
Fed up with the overwhelming sense of unease or worry.
Don't know how much longer I can hold on
Uncertain about how much longer they can endure their current situation.
My chest getting number as I talk
Sensation of emotional numbness or detachment in the chest area.
My head getting fucked up
Mentally troubled or confused.
Exhale all the pain i found taking drugs
Relief sought in substances to alleviate emotional pain.
Help me with the nothing, nothing at all
Asking for help despite feeling like there's nothing to help with.
Resorted to smoking and drinking
Turning to smoking and drinking as coping mechanisms.
I found out my weakness, overthinking
Realization of vulnerability to excessive thinking.
I hope that you know I'm not okay
Assuring that things are not alright, despite appearances.
I thought you could save me
Belief or hope that the addressed person could provide salvation.
But you're just a demon why love?
Labeling the addressed person as someone harmful despite love.
Every time I try to change I
Struggling to change for the better.
Feel like I'm fuckеd up more trust
Feeling more messed up when attempting change.
You left me scarrеd broken
Feeling emotionally wounded and shattered.
How the fuck you ignore us? Ignore us
Expressing hurt at being disregarded or neglected.
You left me with no trust are you happy now?
Feeling betrayed and left without trust.
Used me with no fucks
Feeling used and disregarded without any care.
I've been feeling alone
Continued sense of loneliness.
I'm so alone shut up, I ain't mad at you
Repetition of initial feelings of loneliness, reiterating a lack of anger towards the listener.
I found peace in the silence
Reiterating finding peace in silence.
Call my name and I'm back to you
Repetition of being drawn back when called by name.
I'm getting sick of the hiding
Continued frustration with hiding or avoiding something.
All this time I've been spending alone low
Repetition of spending excessive time alone.
Getting sick of anxiety
Repetition of feeling overwhelmed by anxiety.
Don't know how much longer I can hold on
Reiteration of uncertainty about endurance.
Walk through the shadow of death
Metaphorically traversing a perilous or challenging situation.
Just to find out you couldn't save me
Realization that the addressed person couldn't provide needed help.
Now I'm so lost
Feeling profoundly directionless or confused.
Demons standing over my chest
Sensation of being oppressed by inner troubles or negativity.
I've been wishing I'm perfect
Desiring to be flawless but acknowledging being far from it.
But trust me, I'm far from it
Admitting the need for emotional connection, which causes pain due to its absence.
I needed your heart and it hurt me to know
Needing emotional support and hurt by the distance experienced.
That I've fallen miles apart
Feeling emotionally distant or disconnected.
I needed your trust
Desiring trust but feeling damaged or dysfunctional.
And trust me, I'm fucked up i've been
Feeling emotionally overwhelmed and dysfunctional.
Fuck i don't need you
Expressing a lack of need for the addressed person.
Give me a reason
Requesting a reason for continued engagement or closure in the relationship.
I need closure 'cause I'm overthinking
Expressing exhaustion from excessive thinking about unresolved issues.
Tired of filling my lungs on the weekend
Tired of seeking solace in substances during weekends.
But a phone call is as close as we get
Distance and lack of intimacy reflected in limited communication.
Right my wrong how do I know
Desire to correct past mistakes but unsure how.
Ain't no sign for the way that I'm feeling
No clear indication or guidance for the current emotional state.
No check-up
No reassurance or follow-up on emotional well-being.
Guess I'm fucked up fighting these demons
Fighting inner battles and feeling overwhelmed by personal demons.
I need a new touch from someone who needs me
Craving a new emotional connection where mutual need exists.
I'm so alone shut up, I ain't mad at you
Reiteration of initial feelings of loneliness without animosity towards the listener.
I found peace in the silence
Repetition of finding tranquility in silence.
Call my name and I'm back to you
Reiteration of being drawn back when called by name.
I'm getting sick of the hiding
Continued frustration with hiding or avoiding something.
All this time I've been spending alone low
Repetition of spending excessive time alone.
Getting sick of anxiety
Repetition of feeling overwhelmed by anxiety.
Don't know how much longer I can hold on
Reiteration of uncertainty about endurance.
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