prettier now
Discovering Self-Acceptance Through Turmoil
Lyrics
I open up with
I begin expressing
I'm scared of everything and I feel like I'm going nowhere
I'm afraid of everything, feeling directionless
Then you tell me that I'm young and things will sort themselves out
Reassurance that youth allows for self-discovery
But I'm scared that nothing will change
Fearful that my situation won't improve
because I know I've heard it all before and I've been through all the motions
Previous advice and experiences seem repetitive
So I walk out of the room and pace for a bit
Exiting the situation, contemplating
I think of everything that led me here
Reflecting on the journey leading to this point
Going back to Halloween a few years ago
Recalling Halloween from a few years back
I was a totally different person, oh but not really
Claiming a changed persona, though not entirely
Just dormantly wasting away my best years
Passively wasting valuable time
Not doing what I wanted at all
Regretting not pursuing desired goals
Had to go to the bottom somewhere in Hoboken
Reaching a low point in Hoboken
After a night of convincing myself I was the devil
Night of self-convincing, feeling demonic
Chained up in a malfunctioning brain
Sensing a malfunction in mental state
You know I pushed myself down in the mud
Metaphorically sinking into the mud
To figure out that I already am
Realizing the self-destructive nature
What I already was
Accepting and acknowledging the current state
I already am what I already was
Emphasizing the continuity of self
You're just scared of accepting the truth
Others avoid facing their truth due to fear
And you don't know where to begin, so you're puking it all
Expressing emotional turmoil and confusion
You'll read up on anything about yourself
Seeking self-understanding externally
Instead of looking in the mirror and seeing the wall
Avoiding self-reflection by focusing on others
You'd rather diagnosis yourself away from living
Choosing diagnosis over active living
Until you hit your breaking point you know that you gotta fake it all
Faking emotions until reaching a breaking point
Until you get there yourself, you need to trick yourself by closing yours eyes just like
Deception as a coping mechanism
How Ill tell myself that I'm prettier now
Declaring a self-perceived improvement
How Ill tell myself that I'm prettier now
Repeating the assertion of personal beauty
One night I stayed up with Mabel talking about just about anything at all
Recalling a late-night conversation with Mabel
But sometimes I get carried away at 5am I forget how to control myself
Losing self-control during deep discussions
When I told her about the lack of free will
Discussing the concept of free will
I heard it from Ziszek, quite the silly man
Reference to Zizek's views on determinism
But the sniffly sniffly man just knows its all gonna go
Expecting cyclic patterns, no real change
In a circle, and nothing changes
Belief in the stagnation of life
So I'll tell myself that I'm prettier now
Reiterating the self-perceived improvement
So I'll tell myself that I'm prettier now
Repeating the declaration of enhanced beauty
So I'll tell myself that I'm prettier now
Continuing the assertion of personal improvement
Comment