Lyrics
Why do I do the things I do to myself?
Questioning the self-destructive behaviors and motives.
The pressure on my soul is damaging my health
Feeling immense stress impacting overall well-being.
I know these rappers coming for my belt
Awareness of competition from other artists.
Cutthroat 'cause you can't fit too much on that top shelf
Striving in a cutthroat industry with limited opportunities.
So everybody wanna bump heads, money come rolling in
Desire for success leading to conflicts and challenges.
Relationships get questioned, do you even know your friends?
Doubt regarding genuine friendships due to fame or success.
Baby mama, hold my hand, tell me that it's gonna end
Seeking reassurance from a partner amidst difficulties.
Look up, tell me God is great, then, baby, why the sky so grey?
Questioning faith or higher power due to life's struggles.
Lay my head in your lap as you caress my shoulder
Seeking comfort and intimacy in a relationship.
We get high, then we doze off, wake me up when it's over
Using substances to escape or cope with reality.
I'm getting older, don't think I've come to terms yet
Struggling with acceptance and understanding of personal growth.
Still searching for my purpose, wondering if it's worth it
Questioning the significance of one's existence.
You study one book your entire life and still end up a crook
Critiquing the limitations of religious teachings or moral guidance.
I'm rolling dice, I come alive at night, I never thought to
Engaging in risky behavior for excitement or escape.
Look the other way as my demons call my name
Ignoring inner struggles despite their presence.
You know what they say, who am I to blame?
Reflecting on personal accountability amid challenges.
They say to think, sleep, and breathe deeper
Emphasizing the importance of mindfulness and awareness.
Is the only way to avoid meeting the Grim Reaper
Highlighting the necessity of self-care to evade death.
Praying on my knees until I crease my sneakers
Using prayer as a means of seeking help or guidance.
Can anybody out there hear me, should I speak up?
Expressing uncertainty about being heard or understood.
I'm pacing back and forth like it's a sport with sweat dripping down my face
Symbolizing anxiety and stress with physical manifestations.
The weight of the world is on my chest and I just wanna walk away
Feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities and wanting to escape.
I've been betrayed, swayed and played, face-to-face
Experiencing betrayal and deceit from close individuals.
By the ones who say they love me the most but now I know that blood was never thick as water
Realizing that family bonds aren't always the strongest.
See my friends die slowly in front of my eyes
Witnessing the slow decline of friends, possibly due to issues like addiction.
See the pain and agony through every smile that I encounter
Seeing pain behind superficial smiles in others.
Back of the tour bus with blue pills, dollar bills, and dancers
Contrasting the facade of a glamorous lifestyle with personal struggles.
Back at home, second hand, struggling with cancer
Struggling with personal health or witnessing someone close battle a severe illness.
Almost felt like it was me, how could I be so selfish?
Self-reflection on selfishness and lack of consideration.
Thinking about myself but not the one that I'm in love with
Realizing neglect towards a loved one while focused on personal issues.
Damn, my heart felt like erupting
Feeling intense emotional pressure and turmoil.
Barely shedding tears, I had to emphasize my toughness
Suppressing emotions to appear strong despite inner turmoil.
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