Don't Want to Want You
Unwanted Longings: Rachel Panchal's Emotional Journey in 'Don't Want to Want You'
Lyrics
Don’t Want to Want You
Expressing a reluctance to desire you
2013 Rachel Panchal and Megan Sauder
Attribution to Rachel Panchal and Megan Sauder in 2013
The phone rings, my heart sinks
Feeling a sense of dread as the phone rings
Stomach drops out from under me
Experiencing a sudden intense feeling of anxiety or fear
It’s not you, it will never be
Realizing that the caller is not you and never will be
But this phone triggers my memory
The phone call triggers memories associated with you
I want to shake you off
Desire to detach yourself from thoughts of the person
I want to be strong
Wishing to exhibit strength despite the situation
Your silence says that you have moved on
Interpreting the silence as your indication of moving on
Still here I am, coming undone
Despite this, feeling emotionally unstable or falling apart
I would like to forget all about you
Wishing to erase all memories of you
To never wonder where it all went wrong
Not wanting to ponder where the relationship went wrong
I would like to be happy that we’re through
Desiring to feel content about the breakup
But here's the truth
Admitting the truth despite the desire not to want you
I don't want to want you
Strongly denying the desire to want you
But I do
Contradicting the denial by acknowledging the desire
Top of the world, you kissed me
Recalling a time of happiness when kissed and praised
Told me I was the prettiest view you’d ever seen
Feeling hurt by these cherished moments now
These moments, are open wounds on my heart
Considering these moments as emotional wounds
Isn’t there some pill I could take to ease the ache
Wishing for something to alleviate the pain
To stop me from craving all that you were
Longing for what you represented in the past
I want to shake you off
Reiterating the desire to detach from thoughts of you
I want to be strong
Seeking strength amidst the emotional turmoil
Your silence says that you have moved on
Interpreting your silence as a sign of moving on
Still here I am coming undone
Despite efforts, feeling emotionally unstable or falling apart
I would like to forget all about you
Desiring to erase all memories of you
To never wonder where it all went wrong
Not wishing to analyze where things went wrong
I would like to be happy that we’re through
Desiring contentment after the breakup
But here's the truth
Reiterating the truth about not wanting to desire you
I don't want to want you
Strongly denying the desire to want you
But I do
Reaffirming the contradictory acknowledgment of desire
But I do
Repeating the contradictory acknowledgment
I miss you and me together (I’m trying to move on)
Expressing longing and difficulty in moving forward
I would like to forget all about you
Wishing to erase all memories of you
To never wonder where it all went wrong
Not wanting to analyze the downfall of the relationship
I would like to be happy that we’re through
Desiring contentment after the breakup
But here's the truth
Reiterating the truth about not wanting to desire you
I don't want to want you
Strongly denying the desire to want you
But I do
Reiterating the contradictory acknowledgment of desire
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