If Only

Echoes of Unspoken Words: Red Hawes' Emotional Journey in 'If Only'
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Lyrics

I walk tall and radiate the room

I project confidence and dominate the environment.

But I'm content on this game of pretend

Despite appearances, I find comfort in pretending.

Reduced down to a grain of sand

Feeling diminished, reduced to insignificance.

The castle struck down by my own hand

I've destroyed my own achievements or dreams.

While the tide is rushing in

Amid challenges, I'm overwhelmed by emotions.

Trapped in my mind, with no escape

Trapped in my thoughts with no apparent escape.

I'll fight until I break, I'll fight until I break

Willing to fight relentlessly until I break.

Fill the empty space with a crowd

Seeking solace in the presence of others.

It comes with a certain kind of warmth

The crowd provides a comforting warmth.

A silent comfort to lift the spirits

A quiet reassurance lifting my mood.

More than I'd really like to admit

Admitting more vulnerability than I'd like.

I'll stay until I can't take any more

Enduring a situation until it becomes unbearable.

I figure that if only, I could say what really was on my mind

Wishing I could honestly express my thoughts.

Maybe, this loss for words was by design

Suspecting the struggle for words is intentional.

Oh what I'd give, to be set free

Desiring freedom from internal constraints.

If only that's the way it could be

Expressing a desire for a different reality.

Looking around, at all the happy faces, I must confess

Observing joy around but struggling to connect.

It doesn't matter what I do I couldn't bring myself to talk to you

Unable to communicate despite efforts.

If only, I could say what really was on my mind

Reiterating the desire for honest expression.

Maybe, this loss for words was by design

Suspecting the difficulty in expressing is deliberate.

Mesmerized the second you walked in the room

Feeling captivated upon seeing someone special.

But why care, when my tongue is caught when I'm in your view

Tongue-tied when trying to speak in their presence.

If only, I could say what really was on my mind

Expressing the longing for honest communication.

Maybe, this loss for words was by design

Speculating on the intentional nature of speech difficulties.

Oh what I'd give, to be set free

Desiring freedom from internal constraints (repeated).

But at the end of the day, gotta accept the fact

Accepting personal shortcomings at the end of the day.

That I'm too worried about all of the qualities that I may lack

Worrying about perceived inadequacies.

Nobody's here to catch my fall

Facing challenges alone without support.

Why should I make an impression at all?

Questioning the need to make an impact.

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