Lyrics
When I was younger I thought it was fun
When I was younger, I found joy in constantly changing myself.
To keep shifting my shape like a chameleon
I adapted my identity like a chameleon, shifting shapes.
Kept a friend in every corner deliberately planned
I strategically maintained friendships in every corner of my life.
Thought that way I couldn't lose if somebody would run
Believed this would prevent me from losing if someone abandoned me.
And I was worried that the day would come
I feared a day when my facade would crumble, revealing my true self.
My wall would break and they could see right through me
Concerned that my defenses would break, exposing my vulnerability.
I didn't think I could be anyone
I doubted my ability to be authentic.
I didn't think I could be cool
I doubted my ability to be considered "cool."
God knows I've tried so damn hard to fit in
I made extensive efforts to fit in but struggled.
Copied all the right moves and got caught in-between
I imitated the right behaviors but found myself stuck in between identities.
Who I was, and who I wanted to be
Conflicted between my true self and the image I wanted to project.
I wanted to be a cool girl, a cool girl
I aspired to be a "cool girl."
When I was younger I thought it'd make sense
Earlier, I believed it would be logical to base my value on others' opinions.
To build my worth and build my confidence on
I thought my worth and confidence depended on others' judgments.
What others said look how far I could bend
I focused on how much I could conform to others' expectations.
Look at me and how good I'm at pretending
I showcased proficiency in pretending and adapting.
And I was worried that the day would come
I worried about the day when my facade would crumble, revealing my true self.
My wall would break and they could see right through me
Fearful that my defenses would break, exposing my vulnerability.
I didn't think I could be anyone
Doubted my ability to be authentic.
I didn't think I could be cool
Doubted my ability to be considered "cool."
God knows I've tried so damn hard to fit in
Made extensive efforts to fit in but faced challenges.
Copied all the right moves and got caught in-between
Imitated the right behaviors but found myself stuck in between identities.
Who I was, and who I wanted to be
Conflicted between my true self and the image I wanted to project.
I wanted to be a cool girl, a cool girl
Aspired to be a "cool girl."
I used to try so damn hard to fit in
I previously struggled intensely to fit in.
I hit a couple of walls and it thickened my skin
Faced obstacles, but they toughened my resilience.
It took some time but you know in the end
Over time, I realized I am a genuinely cool person.
I realized I'm a cool girl, a cool girl
Recognized my strength and authenticity.
Oh didn't I, didn't I, didn't I look so strong
Highlighting my apparent strength that others may not have perceived.
You couldn't have, couldn't have, couldn't have, couldn't have known
Emphasizing that others might not have understood my struggles.
That on the other side of the wall there was nothing at all
Behind the facade, there was emptiness, and I should have realized my self-worth was enough.
But me and I should have known that that was enough
I should have acknowledged that being myself was sufficient.
God knows I've tried so damn hard to fit in
Despite efforts to fit in, I faced challenges.
Copied all the right moves and got caught in-between
Imitated the right behaviors but found myself stuck in between identities.
Who I was, and who I wanted to be
Conflicted between my true self and the image I wanted to project.
I wanted to be a cool girl, a cool girl
Aspired to be a "cool girl."
I used to try so damn hard to fit in
I previously struggled intensely to fit in.
I hit a couple of walls and it thickened my skin
Faced obstacles, but they toughened my resilience.
It took some time but you know in the end
Over time, I realized I am a genuinely cool person.
I realized I'm a cool girl, a cool girl
Recognized my strength and authenticity.
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