Home Isn't Home Anymore
Ghost of Despondence: Seeking Home Beyond the Facade
Lyrics
Decide
Reflecting on a decision
If this is still her life, even if I'm gone
Questioning the continuation of a shared life, even in the absence of the speaker
I'm medicated and can't speak on us
Expressing emotional numbness due to medication, inhibiting communication
The season's fading out
Noticing the end of a season, a metaphor for change
And I can't find my home
Feeling lost and unable to identify one's home
Or find out what that means to me
Struggling to understand the personal significance of home
But I'd give it all to let it in and feel again
Willing to sacrifice everything to experience genuine emotions again
(Search for the heart of this existence)
Searching for the essence of existence, possibly seeking meaning
It's a facade I'm living in a better place
Living in a deceptive facade, portraying a better life than reality
When there's dreams that I still seek
Having unfulfilled dreams and aspirations
But would you still give it up and run away in the end?
Questioning if the partner would abandon everything in the end
Cause I am just so sick of faking every single face while we pretend
Expressing weariness of pretending and faking emotions
Who we are
Questioning the authenticity of self
This time all the flames are pouring out
Intense emotions surfacing
But I'm stuck inside this hole
Feeling trapped and invested in a challenging situation
(A ball and chain and I'm so invested)
Metaphorically chained to a problematic existence
So despondent from this scene
Feeling disheartened by the current circumstances
It's a fabricated mess
Describing a chaotic and fabricated situation
(Please don't take it out on me)
Pleading not to be blamed for the chaos
And the messages all say to go home
Receiving messages advising to return home
(Just leave it and go home)
Suggesting leaving everything and going home
And throw this life away
Contemplating abandoning the current life
I like to pretend I'm a better man, but I'm not
Acknowledging a personal struggle to be a better person
Do you wanna stay and see everything
Inviting the partner to witness everything
When I know that I'm still weak
Admitting personal weakness
Or would you still give it up and run away in the end?
Questioning if the partner would leave in the end
Cause I am just so sick of faking every single face while we pretend
Frustration with the constant act of pretending
Cause I am a ghost, and all that I've become is what I've hated most
Identifying as a ghost and embodying what is hated
I won't wait to run away
Expressing a desire to escape without waiting
From the moment I stepped in the room
Recalling a moment of realization upon entering a room
I could see that your eyes lost their color and their glow
Noticing a change in the partner's eyes, a loss of vibrancy
And now I wonder if there's something I missed
Questioning if something important was overlooked
Should I stray from the kiss that could save us now before I'm gone?
Considering the potential impact of a missed opportunity for reconciliation
From the moment I stepped in the room
Repeating the observation of the partner's changed eyes
I could see that your eyes lost their color and their glow
Confirming the realization of a missed element
I know now there's something I've missed
Expressing regret for potentially jeopardizing everything
If I stray from the kiss, will I sever everything I love?
Weighing the consequences of straying from a solution
Would you still give it up and run away in the end?
Reiterating the question of leaving in the end
Cause I am just so sick of faking every single face while we pretend
Continuing frustration with the act of pretending
Where I am a ghost, and all that I've become is what I've hated most
Repeating the identity as a hated ghost
And I won't wait
Declaring an unwillingness to wait
Would you still give it up and run away in the end?
Posing the question of leaving in the end once again
Cause I am just so sick of faking every single face while we pretend
Expressing ongoing frustration with pretense
Cause I am a ghost, and all that I've become is what I've hated most
Reiterating the identity as a despised ghost
I won't wait to run away
Declaring an immediate intent to escape
Comment