Famulus
Searching for Belonging: The Journey Beyond Broken Molds
Lyrics
I breathe in and I try to let go
The singer tries to release or let go of something.
Of the feeling of your hands around my throat
There's a sensation of being choked or controlled by someone's grasp.
It seems like I may not heal from this
He feels uncertain if he'll recover from a hurt or trauma.
So I'm leaving the first chance that I get
He plans to depart at the earliest opportunity.
I'm lying to myself, this is not the life I want
The singer feels dissatisfied with his current life.
But I don't know where else to go and this is all I've got
He's unsure of where to go as his present situation seems to be all he has.
You see I can't hold on, I know I won't be here for long
He cannot persist or endure and anticipates leaving soon.
And I'll keep searching for somewhere, somewhere that I belong
Continuously seeking a place where he feels accepted or fits in.
I breathe out but I don't feel a thing
Exhaling without any emotional response.
So what now? What else is there for me?
Expresses a sense of confusion or lack of direction about what comes next.
A thousand fucking times I've torn myself apart
He's emotionally broken himself many times.
To try and fit a mold that was broken from the start
Attempts to conform to a standard that was flawed from the beginning.
A thousand fucking times I've torn myself apart
Repeats the idea of self-harm or self-destruction.
I'm lying to myself, this is not the life I want
Reiterates dissatisfaction with the current life.
But I don't know where else to go and this is all I've got
Similar to line 7, unsure where to turn as this seems like the only option.
You see I can't hold on, I know I won't be here for long
He's convinced he won't stay long in this situation.
And I'll keep searching for somewhere, somewhere that I belong
Continuously seeking a place where he feels accepted or fits in (repeated).
I've said it all before
States having expressed these sentiments previously.
It didn't matter then, now it matters no more
Past expressions were inconsequential and hold no significance now.
I thought I found my home, but I was fucking wrong
Believed he had found his place or home, but it turned out to be incorrect.
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