Be My Promised Land
Struggles and Redemption: A Search for Self-Acceptance
Lyrics
I make a tally on my body
I keep track of my mistakes and regrets on my body
For the times I've hurt
Reflecting on the times when I've caused pain
I know I'm lucky, given time
Despite my fortunate circumstances, over time, those mistakes fade
They wash away
These mistakes gradually diminish or get forgiven
But the ones that remain, I know
Some mistakes persist, and I acknowledge I've been at my lowest points
I've been at my worst
Acknowledging my worst moments that linger
I know they'll stay
Recognizing that these moments will endure
I know I need it but I don't want it
Understanding a need but lacking the desire for it
Does that make me insane?
Questioning if this lack of desire is a sign of insanity
Or does it make me an addict or an idiot?
Exploring the possibility of being labeled an addict or an idiot
I know what my parents would say
Acknowledging parental expectations and judgments
And I feel like a slave to myself
Feeling trapped and controlled by my own actions
And I can't break away
Unable to break free from this self-imposed confinement
And I hold onto that faint glimpse of hope
Clutching onto a faint hope for a better future
With each passing day
Maintaining hope despite the challenges of each passing day
It's a fool's game I play
Acknowledging that the pursuit of improvement is a risky endeavor
And I can't hold it much longer
Feeling the struggle and pressure, unable to endure much longer
I can't stand up if I can't be stronger
Unable to stand strong without external support
All I need is a place where I can learn to love again
Desiring a space to rediscover love and heal
If that's in you, treat me the way I treated you
If love is found in you, treat me as I treated you
So what defines me? Is it you?
Questioning what defines my identity, you or my actions
Or the footprints I leave behind?
Contemplating if my essence is shaped by relationships or my impact on the world
Is it what we made or the things I've done?
Considering whether my identity is determined by relationships or my deeds
You know I'm searching for an answer
Expressing a quest for answers in a challenging and isolating environment
In a cold and lonely place
Seeking resolution in a cold and lonely space
And I know that I'll break
Accepting the inevitability of breaking down
It's a matter of time
Anticipating a breakdown as a matter of time
And of what you'll do
Understanding that the outcome depends on external factors
But I'll still play your fool
Willing to continue being deceived in the name of love
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