Reclaim My Name
Embracing Redemption: Adeem's Journey Through Shame to Celebration
Lyrics
I remember myself as a boy
I have memories of my childhood self.
In the yard playing cars
I used to play with toy cars in the yard.
I wore loose-fitting clothes
I dressed in loose-fitting clothes.
Still feel that obsolete joy
I still feel the joy from that time, which seems outdated now.
When the summer got hotter
Recalling hotter summer days.
And we got out the water hose
We used a water hose to cool off.
I wore my shirt in the pool back then
I used to wear my shirt in the pool because I was afraid of being seen.
I was afraid to be seen
A sense of insecurity or shame about appearance.
I've been trying to build a machine
I've been working on creating something.
That can convert shame into celebration
A machine to transform shame into celebration.
I'll go back in time and reclaim my name
Expressing a desire to reclaim one's identity from the past.
I remember myself as a teen
Recollection of teenage years.
Would just stand near the band with my hands towards the sky
Standing near a band with hands raised, possibly seeking solace or connection.
Embarrassed of everything
Feeling embarrassed about everything.
Lucky for love received from an invisible guy
Grateful for love received from an unseen force.
Stained by generational sins
Carrying the burdens of past generations.
I did not deserve good things
Feeling undeserving of good things.
I've been trying to build a machine
Continuing efforts to create a transformative machine.
That can convert shame into celebration
Turning shame into a cause for celebration.
I'll go back in time and reclaim my name
Reiterating the desire to reclaim one's name from the past.
I've been collecting spare parts from old cars that are long since out of operation
Collecting old car parts and steel scraps for a purpose.
And scraps of old steel, the frames of used wheels that feel tired of personification
Feeling a disconnection from objects that seem tired of being personified.
I'm trying to build a machine
Continuing the creation of the transformative machine.
That can convert shame into celebration
Reiterating the goal to turn shame into celebration.
I remember when I was still Kyle
Recalling a time when the speaker was called Kyle.
The kids called me Cow, even now I grind teeth
Being teased with the nickname "Cow."
Grandma said that I looked fat
Grandma commenting on perceived weight.
From her perch on the porch looking side-eyed at me
Grandma looking disapprovingly from the porch.
I wish I could visit that memory now
Expressing a wish to revisit a specific memory.
And give him a set of the keys
Giving the past self the keys to a symbolic transformative machine.
To a makeshift and duct taped machine
Highlighting the ongoing effort to convert shame into celebration.
That can convert shame into celebration
Imagining dancing to the transformed music of life.
We could dance to the music it screams
Envisioning a joyous and harmonious celebration.
In a cacophonic orchestration
Describing a lively orchestration of life's experiences.
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