Lyrics
Day one I wake up
Waking up on the first day, feeling the weight of the situation.
With no weight lifted off of my shoulders
Not experiencing relief or resolution.
Like I need more closure
Seeking additional closure in the situation.
Like I'm telling myself we’re not over
Trying to convince oneself that the relationship isn't truly over.
Put on my makeup
Applying makeup as a metaphor for putting on a facade.
Cause I have never felt so naked
Feeling exposed and vulnerable.
And I can’t stop shaking
Experiencing intense emotions, unable to stop shaking.
Now it sinks in
Realizing the gravity of the situation.
I’m on my own
Acknowledging being alone.
And I’ve been told
Being advised that self-discovery happens in solitude.
That this is when
Recognizing the current phase as an opportunity for self-discovery.
I’ll find myself, but
Questioning the desire for self-discovery.
Do I even want to
Doubting the value of self-discovery if it means being without the other person.
If it means not being with you
Expressing the dilemma of choosing between self-discovery and being with the person.
How do I fall asleep when I can’t breathe
Struggling to sleep due to emotional distress.
Cause I got a lot of issues only you know about
Acknowledging personal issues known only to the other person.
How do I drive home and avoid that road
Navigating life to avoid reminders of the past relationship.
Cause if I’m not being careful I’ll end up at your house
Fearing unintentional visits to the other person's residence.
I’m relearning how to be alone again
Learning to be comfortable in solitude once again.
To be alone again, to be alone
Embracing the idea of being alone.
Soon enough I’ll get drunk
Anticipating using alcohol to cope with emotional pain.
Cause I know how I act when I’m hurting
Being aware of one's behavior during times of emotional distress.
I’m sure I’ll try to ignore it
Expecting to ignore the emotional pain.
Find some hands and romance to feel needed
Seeking temporary solace in physical affection.
And maybe six months from now
Projecting into the future, expecting emotional readiness in six months.
When you cross my mind I’ll be ready
Anticipating less burden when thinking about the other person.
The thought of you won’t be heavy
Imagining a time when thoughts of the person won't be emotionally heavy.
But for now
Living in the present, acknowledging the current emotional weight.
How do I fall asleep when I can’t breathe
Repeating the struggle of falling asleep due to emotional difficulty.
Cause I got a lot of issues only you know about
Reiterating the presence of personal issues known only to the other person.
How do I drive home and avoid that road
Revisiting the avoidance of roads linked to the past relationship.
Cause if I’m not being careful I’ll end up at your house
Fearing the unintended return to the other person's residence.
I’m relearning how to be alone again
Continuing the process of rediscovering how to be alone.
To be alone again
Embracing solitude once more.
I’m on my own and I’ve been told
Recalling being alone and the potential for self-discovery.
That this is when I’ll find myself
Acknowledging the ongoing journey of self-discovery.
But do I even want to
Questioning the desire for self-discovery once again.
Do I even want to
Reiterating the uncertainty about the value of self-discovery.
How do I fall asleep when I can’t breathe
Repeating the struggle of falling asleep due to emotional difficulty.
Cause I got a lot of issues only you know about
Reiterating the presence of personal issues known only to the other person.
How do I drive home and avoid that road
Revisiting the avoidance of roads linked to the past relationship.
Cause if I’m not being careful I’ll end up at your house
Fearing the unintended return to the other person's residence.
I’m relearning how to be alone again
Continuing the process of rediscovering how to be alone.
To be alone again, to be alone
Embracing solitude once more.
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