The Cigar Song
Cuban Cigars and Costly Choices: A Brad Paisley Tale
Lyrics
Well I'm a sucker for fine Cuban cigars
Expresses a fondness for high-quality Cuban cigars.
The problem is I can't afford 'em
Acknowledges financial constraints preventing the purchase of such cigars.
But last year I went and got myself a whole box
Narrates acquiring a full box of Cuban cigars, taking a risk by insuring them.
And just to be safe I insured 'em
Humorously mentions insuring the cigars against potential loss or damage.
I took out a policy against fire and theft
Describes taking out an insurance policy covering fire and theft.
And then I hurried home
After insuring, the narrator quickly returns home.
With a thirty-cent lighter I sat on my back steps
Uses a cheap lighter to enjoy the cigars on the back steps.
And I smoked 'em one by one
Recounts the narrator smoking each cigar individually.
Two weeks later I went to see that insurance man
Visits the insurance company to file a claim after the cigars are consumed.
And I handed in my claim
Formally submits the claim for the alleged loss of cigars.
With a straight face I told him that through a series of small fires
Asserts with a straight face that the cigars were lost in small fires.
They'd all gone up in flames
Explains the dubious circumstances of the cigars going up in flames.
They reviewed my case and they had no choice
Insurance company reviews the case, forced to compensate for the claimed loss.
But to pay me for what I'd done
The insurance company pays the narrator for the alleged loss.
And I took that check and bought a whole new box
Narrator uses the insurance payout to buy a new box of cigars.
And I smoked 'em one by one
Again, the narrator smokes the new cigars one by one.
Two weeks later this detective shows up
A detective informs the narrator about legal consequences, charges pending.
Tells me that company's pressin' charges
Reveals that the insurance company is pressing charges against the narrator.
One speedy trial later they locked me up
Narrator is quickly tried and convicted on multiple counts of arson.
On twenty-four separate counts of arson
Specifies the legal charges brought against the narrator.
And now I sit and I stare at a blank brick wall
The narrator is now in prison, reflecting on the consequences of actions.
Lookin' back on what I've done
Contemplates the past while staring at a prison wall.
To pass the time I've got some ten-cent cigars
To pass the time in prison, the narrator smokes inexpensive cigars.
And I smoke 'em one by one
Continues the habit of smoking cigars individually, despite the circumstances.
Yeah, I smoke 'em one by one
Reiterates the narrator's ongoing practice of smoking cigars in prison.
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