Lyrics
Mothers, sisters, family waiting for the creak of the funeral doors
Anticipation and sorrow as family awaits the opening of funeral doors.
No father, but others with alcohol seeping from their breath
No father figure, but others present with alcohol-laden breath.
He said he was clean, he promised, now he's scaling the walls on all fours
A broken promise of sobriety, the person is now in a distressed state.
His ghost walks you down the hall and places you into that uncomfortable chair
The lingering presence of the departed haunts the living.
The priest stands at his pedestal, nine to five, forcing his thoughts onto yours
The priest imposes thoughts during a routine nine-to-five ritual.
When all you can think about is if your footsteps are the reason that everyone's here
Self-reflection on whether one's actions led to the current situation.
Was it all me
Doubt and questioning if the speaker is the cause of the circumstances.
Turning three, nine, fifteen the reason you're now just a dream
The speaker wonders if milestones at ages 3, 9, and 15 caused the dream-like state.
Backseat car rides without you
Reflecting on past backseat car rides without the departed person.
Trees speed by now black and white, not green
Nostalgia for a time when the world seemed simpler (black and white, not green).
Was it all me, was it all
Repetition of questioning if everything was the speaker's fault.
Was it all me
Continued self-doubt and introspection.
Me turning three, nine, fifteen the reason you're now just a dream
Reiteration of the impact at ages 3, 9, and 15 on the dream-like state.
Backseat car rides without you
Nostalgia for backseat car rides without the departed individual.
Trees speed by now black and white and not green
Continued reflection on changes in perception (black and white, not green).
What does it even mean
Questioning the meaning of the situation and emotions.
Please forgive my joke of a memory
An apology for having a seemingly inadequate memory.
Father, can you hear me
An appeal to the departed father, expressing the speaker's age (23).
I've just turned 23 and I'm trying to be all I can be
The speaker's endeavor to fulfill their potential at age 23.
All I can be, all I can be
Repetition of the aspiration to be all that the speaker can be.
Can you hear me
A repeated plea to the departed father, seeking acknowledgment.
Why did you leave me this way
Questioning why the father left in this manner.
Nobody could take your place
Expressing the irreplaceable nature of the departed father.
A lesson you forced me to learn
Acknowledging a forced lesson, resulting in self-disgrace.
I am my own disgrace
The speaker accepting their own shortcomings and mistakes.
And I'm starting to notice everything that you didn't say
Noticing the unsaid things, unspoken by the departed father.
I can live a whole life spend it all thinking about those days
Reflecting on a life spent dwelling on the past.
I didn't want it to be this way
Regret for the undesirable way the situation has unfolded.
I'll return everything you gave
A willingness to return everything the departed father gave.
Why did you leave me this way
Reiteration of the question regarding the father's departure.
Nobody can take your place
Emphasizing the irreplaceable nature of the departed father.
A lesson you forced me to learn
Acknowledging the forced lesson and resulting self-disgrace.
I am my own disgrace
The speaker owning up to their own faults and mistakes.
Was it all me
Repeating the questioning of responsibility for the circumstances.
Me turning three, nine, fifteen the reason you're now just a dream
Reiteration of the impact at ages 3, 9, and 15 on the dream-like state.
Backseat car rides without you
Nostalgia for backseat car rides without the departed individual.
Trees speed by now black and white and not green
Continued reflection on changes in perception (black and white, not green).
Why did you leave me this way
Repetition of the question about the father's departure.
Nobody could take your place
Emphasizing the irreplaceable nature of the departed father.
A lesson you forced me to learn
Acknowledging the forced lesson and resulting self-disgrace.
I am my own disgrace
The speaker owning up to their own faults and mistakes.
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