Oh You Survivalists
Surviving Irony: A Satirical Anthem for the Modern Survivalist
Lyrics
Oh you survivalists
Expressing address to survivalists
With your funny little shopping lists
Mocking survivalists' peculiar shopping lists
Believe me, I get the gist
Acknowledging understanding of their perspective
Of your point of view
Acknowledging the survivalist point of view
You think the rest of us
Implying survivalists see others as brainless zombies
Are just zombies with brains full of pus
Expressing disagreement and intention to protest
Well this pus-head wants to make a fuss
Expressing the desire to sing a song against survivalists
And sing a song to you
Committing to express discontent through music
Doot doo dee doo dee doo dee doo doo
Repeating a nonsensical musical phrase
Doot doo dee doo dee doo dee doo doo
-Doot doo dee doo dee doo dee doo doo
-Doo doo
-You want to live off the grid
Mocking the desire to live off the grid
Like your ancestor Gilligan did
Referencing the TV show "Gilligan's Island" as an example
You don't mind if you find yourself rid
Indicating the potential isolation of survivalists
Of people like me
Highlighting a potential negative outcome for non-survivalists
We who never learned to change no tires
Mocking those who lack basic survival skills
Never rubbed two sticks to make fires
-Never wanted to do dentistry with pliers
-How silly are we!
-You'll live off the land, of course
Criticizing the claim to live off the land
This land that was never yours
Suggesting the land wasn't originally owned by survivalists
That the government cleared for you by force
Highlighting historical government involvement
You independent man
Addressing the survivalist as an independent individual
No one to tell you when your poetry smells
Questioning the practicality of total independence
No one to help you with your dried up wells
-Who will you call when your prostate swells?
-I guess you'll do what you can.
-And you might outlive me but you know, it's strange When the seasons fail to change
Casting doubt on the sustainability of survivalist lifestyles
Within a predictable range
-Oh, but that's a lie (sigh)
-But at the failure of the fourth harvest
Asserting the inevitability of death in certain scenarios
You're gonna starve to death unless
-Terribly sorry, there is no unless!
-You're just going to die
Emphasizing the finality of death without exceptions
And you know, that's not the worst
Highlighting the emotional toll of survivalist choices
You're gonna have to watch you kids go first
-In their eyes, a silent curse
-And a question: Why?
-""Daddy, why? Daddy, why?""
Quoting a child's question about the situation
At the time of calamity
Accusing survivalists of isolating themselves
You cut yourself off from humanity
Denying vanity as the motive for isolation
It wasn't John Wayne vanity!
-No, that can't be true
-Oh, you survivalists
Repeating the address to survivalists
With your funny little shopping lists
Noting the limited time left for survivalists
With the remaining time that exists
Expressing the intent to sing against survivalist choices
I'll sing a song for you
Repeating the nonsensical musical phrase
Doot doo dee doo dee doo dee doo doo
-Doot doo dee doo dee doo dee doo doo
-Doot doo dee doo dee doo dee doo doo
-Doo doo
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