Unstable Boy
Journey of an Unstable Boy: A Holiday Reflection
Lyrics
Staring down the barrel of another holiday
Feeling overwhelmed or confronted by another holiday season
Force-fed a christmas carol of another time, another place, another way
Being forced to experience a Christmas song from a different time or circumstance
What child is this who, who laid to rest
Questioning the identity of a child laid to rest
On Mary's lap is sleeping
Describing the child sleeping on Mary's lap
Well, what child is this who, who feels so blessed
Questioning the child's feelings of being blessed despite sorrow
Yet cannot keep from weeping
Expressing the child's inability to stop weeping despite feeling blessed
pre-chorus
Self-reflection on responsibilities and emotions
I should be tending to the horses who intend to cart my joy
Feeling obliged to care for sources of joy but unable due to personal instability
From now into forever, I'm just a lowly unstable boy
Acknowledging personal instability and feeling inadequate
I'm a failure on a journey, but my strength is gathering
Recognizing personal failures but finding strength in the journey
And it's only fair that I make it there, yeah, I'm on my way to mattering
Expressing determination to matter despite past failures
chorus
Reiteration of personal struggles on the journey
But all the way, on the way, I couldn't contain my fear
Struggling to contain fear while progressing
My lips only look rosy cuz my skin looks so white in here
Appearance may not reflect inner struggles
Shred up my fingers on this bottle cap that won't twist off
Physical harm experienced while trying to open a bottle
Aching for the syrup that could cure me of this hacking cough
Desiring a solution to a physical ailment
Ask me how I'm feeling and I'll say Im okay
Maintaining a facade of being okay despite inner turmoil
though my mind is reeling, can't think of anything better to say
Struggling to articulate feelings due to mental chaos
Is that what you get for running a yellow light—
Reflecting on consequences of risky actions
Piss full of regret and a fix that doesn't last
Regretting past actions and seeking a temporary fix
I'm a super-cali-fragile piece of fucked up à la I need a spoonful of something fast
Expressing a need for immediate help or relief
pre-chorus
Continued reflection on personal struggles and instability
chorus
Reiteration of the ongoing struggles and appearance versus reality
bridge
Expressing frustration with life's challenges and uncertainties
Stupid fucking world of mine
Frustration with personal circumstances
You keep moving the fucking finish line
Feeling like goals are constantly shifting
You trick me over here, you hide it over there
Feeling deceived by life's changes and challenges
You start another game when you see me starting to care, well
Life introducing new difficulties when caring or trying
I don't expect you to hear me say
Expressing a lack of expectation for understanding
I'm gonna chew my way out of your lab rat cage someday
Determination to break free from current circumstances
chorus
Reiteration of inner struggles and challenges despite external appearances
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