Lyrics
I been hurt so many times and now I'm always numb
Feeling emotionally numb due to past hurts.
And now I'm asking questions like can I trust or just what is love
Questioning trust and the meaning of love.
And I been really hoping I can change just like the rest of 'em
Hoping for personal change, similar to others.
I'm an ordinary kid with depression and just a sharp blade yeah
Identifying as an ordinary person dealing with depression and self-harm.
I don't know
Uncertain about something.
And I don't care
Expressing a lack of care or concern.
Life is like a race
Comparing life to a race.
No it's not fair
Life's perceived unfairness.
Why should I be insecure about my looks or what I wear
Questioning why appearance or attire should cause insecurity.
Yeah you wasn't there when I needed you
Feeling abandoned by someone in a time of need.
So I don't care
Reiterating a lack of concern.
I running for my life
Symbolizing a pursuit to survive.
Yeah you know I'm fighting these demons just every night
Battling personal inner struggles regularly.
I been thinking bout the good times not the bad times
Initially joking about focusing on good times.
I'm just kidding
Correcting the focus to dwelling on bad times.
Been thinking about the bad times
Reflecting on negative experiences.
Not the good times uh
Seeing life in bleak, colorless terms.
I just see grey and black
Perceiving betrayal from close friends.
Now you feel ya homies be talking behind your back
Being accustomed to feeling unimportant to others.
It doesn't feel good but I'm used to it
Despite feeling bad, becoming accustomed to it.
You never gave a shit
Expressing a lack of care from someone significant.
And I just wanna quit
Contemplating giving up.
Can I feel loved a bit
Desiring to feel a bit of love and care.
You know I really miss you
Expressing missing someone dearly.
I just miss all of your love and miss the late nights on the phone
Missing the affection and late-night conversations with someone.
Now you talking to another guy
Noticing someone's change in attention to another person.
You send me straight tone
Receiving a cold, indifferent response.
And now I got this sharpened blade and I just cut way past the bone
Expressing self-harm and intense emotional pain.
Ain't nobody helping me
Feeling abandoned by everyone.
Now I'm on my own
Being left to deal with problems alone.
I don't know
Uncertain about something.
And I don't care
Reiterating a lack of concern.
Life is like a race
Comparing life to an unfair race.
No, it's not fair
Emphasizing life's perceived unfairness.
Why should I be insecure about my looks or what I wear
Questioning the reasons for feeling insecure about appearance.
Yeah you wasn't there when I needed you
Feeling abandoned by someone in a time of need.
So I don't care
Reiterating a lack of concern.
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