Horsefly
Surrendered Echoes: Embracing Imperfection in 'Horsefly'
Lyrics
A cry in the hinge of the gate to the yard
A sorrowful sound at the entrance to the yard
Of the house that we briefly pretended was ours
Referring to a house briefly claimed as ours in pretense
A flicker of light as the lavender waved
A moment of brightness as lavender plants sway
And I vowed to surrender but part of me stayed behind
I pledged to surrender, but part of me remained behind
And I wanted to tell you
An unspoken desire to communicate with you
An unknown perennial grazes the eaves
An unfamiliar perennial plant grows near the roof
By the window where you got a horsefly to leave
At a window, where a horsefly was persuaded to depart
I'd come up holding a rolled magazine
I approached with a rolled magazine in hand
And you wordlessly bade me to vacate the scene
You silently signaled for me to leave the scene
And I did as you asked
I followed your request
But I'm never who I'd prefer to be
I am consistently not the person I wish to be
It's like it never occurs to me
It feels like I never consider certain aspects
To let things go
I struggle to release things
A swirl in the wood of the bench by the curb
An intricate pattern in the wood of a bench by the street
I sat solemn and sunburned and rendered inert
I sat there, serious and sunburned, feeling immobilized
You found me there holding an ocean of need
You discovered me, burdened with a sea of needs
And you wordlessly gave me permission to breathe
You silently granted me the freedom to breathe
And I just started crying
Emotion overwhelmed me, and tears started to flow
And I wished I was not ashamed of it
I wished not to feel shame for expressing emotions
Pinned down by the weight of it
Weighed down by the gravity of emotions
Afraid that you'd be afraid of it
Fearful that you might be frightened by my vulnerability
What I can't let go
A struggle to release something that holds a grip on me
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