Tourniquet
Navigating Life's Loop: Tourniquet by Leanna Firestone
Lyrics
think i might try to try to sail off the edge of the world
Contemplating pushing boundaries, exploring unknowns, possibly taking risks.
but i’ll probably make one big great circle the way that i always do
Despite attempts to change, there’s a return to familiar patterns or routines.
yeah, “sometimes you get so close to someone, you end up on the other side of them”
Getting emotionally close to someone can lead to a feeling of separation or distance.
i’m comforted it’s not the end, it’s just a loop
Assurance that a situation isn’t final but cyclical, offering some comfort.
building collapse, pressure outweighs the pain
Under intense pressure, emotions outweigh the physical pain.
i don’t feel sad, i don’t feel anything
Feeling emotionally detached or numb.
only will when the blood returns
Emotions surface only when a sense of feeling or sensation returns.
i’d rather be numb than know how bad i’m hurt
Preference for emotional numbness over acknowledging severe emotional pain.
so i’ll keep the tourniquet on
Metaphorically maintaining a barrier to emotional pain (tourniquet).
take it back, shove it down
Regretting a decision, attempting to suppress it.
you can get a new car but can’t forget the way that it sounds
Memories linger despite attempts to move on or replace them.
or feels to crash, high speed impact
Remembering the impact and aftermath of a significant event or experience.
no police, the first person i called was my dad
Turning to a familiar figure (father) in times of distress.
now i’ll walk myself down the aisle
Metaphorically walking down an aisle alone, taking on multiple roles.
i’ll be the parent and the least favorite only child
Feeling like a self-reliant yet overlooked individual.
laundry days, 2pm
Depicting mundane routines amidst emotional struggles.
some people die before they’re dead
Reflecting on life and the idea of a diminished existence before death.
building collapse, pressure outweighs the pain
Reiteration of emotional turmoil overshadowing physical pain.
i don’t feel sad, i don’t feel anything
Emotional numbness persists.
only will when the blood returns
Anticipating feeling only when the emotional barrier subsides.
i’d rather be numb than know how bad i’m hurt
Choosing emotional numbness to avoid recognizing the severity of emotional pain.
so i’ll keep the tourniquet on
Continued metaphorical use of a tourniquet to shield from emotional pain.
i’ll block it out and off
Intentionally blocking out emotions or memories.
cuz i don’t need anyone, i don’t need anyone, i don’t need anyone at all
Declaring self-sufficiency, rejecting reliance on others.
if i keep the tourniquet on
Maintaining the emotional barrier (tourniquet) for self-preservation.
i spend every night with the tv on, i can’t bear to be alone with my own thoughts
Avoidance of introspection by distracting oneself constantly.
maybe we always start right back where we end, don’t know if i’m god or if i’m sisyphus
Reflecting on cyclical patterns, questioning one's significance or role.
would my suffering be worth it then? monetizable? immortalized in a myth?
Contemplating the value of suffering and its potential legacy or impact.
if there’s no good thing or evil that people won’t one day forget
Belief in the enduring nature of memory, irrespective of moral concepts.
oh, i’ll keep on the tourniquet
Commitment to maintaining emotional barriers despite circumstances.
i’ll keep the tourniquet on
Continued commitment to shielding oneself from emotional pain.
i’ll block it out and off
Reiterating the intentional blocking out of emotions or connections.
cuz i dont need anyone, i dont need anyone, i dont need anyone at all
Rejection of external support or reliance on others.
so i keep the tourniquet on
Decision to persist in maintaining emotional barriers (tourniquet).
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