Habit
Breaking Chains: NHJr.'s Raw Reflections on Life's Vices
Lyrics
(Attention, you're going to listen to NHJr.)
Introduction, urging attention to Nicky Hudson Jr.'s message or music
Wake up, throw up, feel the need to shout
Starting the day feeling nauseated and compelled to express frustration
Feed my cat, just to shut my mouth
Performing routine tasks like feeding a pet to silence oneself or avoid speaking out
Cook some K haven't even bought
Preparing or consuming a substance (likely drugs) despite not having acquired it yet
9 AM, I'm already out
Already active and engaged by 9 AM
I feel dirty and surly, it's early morning
Feeling unclean and irritable early in the morning
24/7 in mourning
Constantly grieving or feeling sorrowful, perhaps suggesting a perpetual state of sadness
Time for brainstorming
Time to generate ideas or solutions, likely related to personal issues
Headphones on, hate on my recordings
Listening critically to one's own recorded music while wearing headphones
Don't think, forget, wet cigarette
Engaging in self-destructive behavior like smoking without concern or reflection
Couple bets, casinò, roulette
Participating in risky activities like gambling
Short break, cold sweat, brain reconnects
Experiencing a brief pause or rest with intense anxiety before regaining focus
Studio sesh and I'm still upset
Despite being in the studio, still feeling emotionally disturbed or unsettled
I curl up and hide in a fucking corner
Seeking isolation and sheltering oneself from distress or trauma
Posttraumatic stress disorder
Referencing the experience of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
I pull back right when I should cross the border
Retreating instead of facing necessary challenges or opportunities
Wake me up when I'm fucking older
Expressing a desire to skip time and life's experiences until later years
Foil smoking, sunset, change my mindset
Using substances to alter mindset during a sunset
9 PM, I haven't had launch yet
Not having eaten by 9 PM, potentially neglecting self-care or nourishment
Even after dinner I feel the same
Despite eating dinner, still feeling emotionally unchanged
(Smoke) smoke away all my fucking shame
Using smoking (or a habit) as a coping mechanism to alleviate feelings of shame
Sometimes I feel content but I'm sad right after
Experiencing fleeting contentment followed by immediate sadness or dissatisfaction
You can't change the book but only the chapter
Emphasizing the inability to change one's entire life but suggesting the possibility of altering aspects of it
Try to say goodbye and come back even faster
Struggling with the urge to leave but returning quickly, possibly in relationships or habits
Waste my life like a fucking tester
Wasting time and existence with reckless or experimental behavior
Habit
Summarizing the cycle and pattern of behaviors as a "habit"
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