Lyrics
Head underneath my pillow
Feeling overwhelmed and seeking escape by burying oneself under a pillow.
Melting fast like April snow
Experiencing a rapid emotional meltdown, akin to the quick melting of April snow.
I try to breathe but it comes slow
Struggling to breathe, possibly due to emotional distress or inner turmoil.
So I make do with what I know
Coping with difficulties by relying on familiar strategies and knowledge.
I lament in the pouring rain
Expressing sorrow in the midst of heavy rain, desiring a cleansing of emotional pain.
I'd rather wash away my pain
Preferentially choosing to let the rain wash away emotional suffering.
Can't spare the time to entertain
Unable to allocate time for distractions, possibly due to internal struggles.
Afraid of loss, afraid of change
Fearing both loss and change, highlighting a reluctance to confront these challenges.
So I keep lying and lying to myself
Admitting to a pattern of self-deception, constantly lying to oneself.
Tell myself I don't need help
Convincing oneself that no external assistance is needed, denying vulnerability.
Lie myself right into hell
Choosing self-deception even if it leads to a personal hellish experience.
Oh, I keep lying, lying to myself
Continuing the cycle of self-deception despite its detrimental effects.
The moon is laughing at me now
Feeling mocked by the moon, possibly symbolizing the universe or fate.
Voices echo in and out
Hearing echoing voices, suggesting inner turmoil or conflicting thoughts.
I made my peace with a war of doubt
Accepting a state of internal conflict and uncertainty as a form of peace.
So I tilt my head back underground
Retreating or hiding from challenges by burying oneself underground.
My brother took the brunt of it
Reflecting on a sibling enduring hardship while recognizing personal weaknesses.
While I found weakness in my grip
Discovering one's own vulnerability and limitations in handling difficulties.
Took nine years to see what I missed
Realizing, after a significant time, what has been missed or overlooked.
Afraid that I'm too late for this
Expressing fear that it might be too late to address or rectify the missed opportunities.
So I keep lying and lying to myself
Persisting in self-deception despite the awareness of its negative consequences.
Tell myself I don't need help
Reiterating the belief that external help is unnecessary, perpetuating denial.
Lie myself right into hell
Continuing the self-destructive path of deception, potentially worsening the situation.
Oh, I keep lying, lying to myself
Choosing to lie to oneself, indicating a persistent internal struggle.
Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
Repeating a melodic refrain, possibly emphasizing the cyclical nature of self-deception.
Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
-Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
-Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
-Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
-Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
-Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
-Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
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