Lyrics
I can barely run from my anxiousness
I struggle to escape from my feelings of unease and apprehension.
Climbing trees to hide from disappointment
Seeking refuge in activities like climbing trees to avoid facing letdowns or failures.
Every word I try to express, comes out so meaningless
My attempts to communicate or articulate thoughts seem futile and lack significance.
I want to attend my own funeral
Expressing a desire to experience the emotions and reflections associated with attending one's own funeral.
I want to know what it feels like
Curiosity about the emotional state during one's funeral.
To have that moment of peace
Yearning for a moment of tranquility or calmness.
Where I finally get to sleep
Desiring a peaceful state where the speaker can finally find rest and sleep.
I am just a weathered soul, a weakening heart
Identifying oneself as a worn-down individual with a weakening heart.
With old bones like everyone else, trying to reason with my head in this mess
Acknowledging the commonality of aging (old bones) and attempting to make sense of internal struggles.
Like a rotting boat, floating murky water; aimless from now on
Comparing oneself to a decaying boat adrift in unclear, purposeless waters.
Portaits of my depression are hung up along the cemetery walls
Depicting images or representations of the speaker's depression displayed on the walls of a cemetery.
I am just a weathered soul, drowning in regret
Characterizing oneself as a battered soul overwhelmed by feelings of remorse.
Another window, is closed, for daily happiness
Highlighting the closure of another opportunity for daily happiness.
I'd love, a silent, night
Expressing a desire for a peaceful and quiet night.
But what's worse than nothing, is living
Contemplating that the absence of anything is more distressing than the challenges of life.
Waking up, waking up afraid
Experiencing fear upon waking up, possibly linked to anxiety or apprehension.
I fold my knees up to my chest wrapping my arms around them
Adopting a defensive posture by curling up and holding onto oneself.
I feel the frost, blister my hands, trying to get my attention
Feeling the harshness of cold (frost) affecting the speaker's hands, possibly as a metaphor for the harshness of life.
And the lack of sleep would be the anchor to this mess
Stating that the lack of sleep contributes to the chaos or disorder in the speaker's life.
I'm not a fool trying to grasp this, the pointlessness of happiness
Rejecting the idea of blindly pursuing happiness, acknowledging the perceived futility or lack of purpose in seeking happiness.
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