Lyrics
What is it all for?
Expressing existential questioning and a sense of confusion about life's purpose.
I've asked myself that question so many times now
Reflecting on the repetition of questioning the purpose of life.
It's become more worn than my Reebok classics
Comparing the frequency of self-questioning to the wear and tear of Reebok classics, suggesting a long-standing internal struggle.
I'm a slave to frivolous habits
Acknowledging a tendency to be controlled by unimportant and superficial habits.
Of introspection with out any destination
Describing a self-reflective process without clear goals or outcomes.
Ruminating thoughts in constant rotation
Describing persistent and repetitive thoughts that occupy the mind.
Is this what it means to be conscious?
Pondering the meaning of consciousness and the constant questioning that comes with it.
To constantly question our conscious
Questioning the nature of consciousness and the act of questioning itself.
Despondently fall on my back horizontally
Expressing a sense of despair and vulnerability.
Under my bed there are monsters
Metaphorically referencing inner struggles or fears as "monsters" under the bed.
They visit me when I try to sleep
Describing intrusive and repetitive thoughts that disturb sleep.
They're those thoughts that play on repeat
Highlighting the persistence of negative thoughts.
They say Ren
Addressing personal suffering and the inevitability of facing challenges.
You're always gonna suffer Ren
-You're always gonna suffer
-And I boomerang between optimism and pessimism
Expressing fluctuation between optimism and pessimism.
So much that my sanctuary could be a prison
Suggesting that personal refuge can turn into a mental prison.
What blinds me could give me vision
Recognizing that personal blind spots may offer insight.
And what finds me is this indecision
Dealing with indecision and uncertainty.
Of what to do with these questions
Contemplating existential questions without clear answers.
Is there purpose?
Raising questions about purpose, God, self-image, and the experience of pain.
Is there God?
-And if there is God then God why?
-Do I feel like this God
-Are we not sculpted in your image?
-And if so do you feel that pain?
-Un-relinquishing pain like my brain got put under a Bunsen burner
Expressing intense emotional pain and suffering.
And torched until the membranes became flame
-I hate not sleeping
Expressing frustration with insomnia and finding solace in the shared experience during weekends.
I like the weekend because other people don't sleep either
-Mindless TV shows irritate me
Expressing disdain for mindless entertainment while acknowledging its role as a distraction.
But they're my messiah
-Because I can become brain dead
-Wasted
-Lost in trails of dry saliva
Describing a state of mental and physical exhaustion.
But I'm a survivor, a child of destiny
Emphasizing resilience while facing challenges and acknowledging the impact on mental well-being.
But this night has been testing me
-Question the mess that's progressing undressing me
-Stripping me naked and stuffing the stress in me
Metaphorically addressing the negative impact of stress and coping mechanisms, such as drinking.
I used to use drinking as a way to stop thinking
-And my problems with drinking made me feel like I was sinking
Reflecting on the consequences of using alcohol as a way to escape problems.
So I dried up my drink
-And then I couldn't sleep a wink
Describing the difficulty of falling asleep and the persistent nature of thoughts.
And now I'm thinking, now I'm thinking
-Now I'm thinking, now I'm thinking about nothing
Expressing a state of mental numbness and overwhelming thoughts.
Fucking nothing, and everything, and nothing
-I hate not sleeping
Reiterating the frustration with insomnia.
So I lie here trying to count sheep
Using counting sheep as a traditional method to induce sleep, but it proves ineffective.
And their bleating's repeating
-My bleeding heart it is beating
Describing the emotional and physical toll of sleep deprivation.
And beating eaten
-My sleep is depleting
-Pleading for healing is fleeting
-Longing for sleepless
Expressing a desire for peaceful sleep and the difficulty of achieving it.
Audibly speaking
-I weep in the sheets
Describing emotional distress and the overwhelming nature of troubled thoughts.
It's doubling doubley troubled
-It's ugly bleak, it's so bleak, it's so bleak And I lost my mind
Expressing a feeling of losing control or sanity.
On a line
Referencing a significant moment of distress or confusion in the past.
I hate not sleeping
Reiterating the frustration and dislike for insomnia.
I hate not sleeping
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