Lyrics
How many times have I lied to myself
Expressing the frequency of self-deception.
How many wishes and nightmares have I kept on the shelf
Reflecting on unfulfilled desires and fears.
From the toys that they gave me, barbie dolls and the like
Referencing childhood toys and societal expectations of gender.
And the secrets hidden in the medicine I take to sleep at night
Hinting at hidden struggles and reliance on medication for sleep.
HRT, I wish that were me, the bold men and women on the streets
Desire for Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and identification with others on the streets.
They almost look like me
Expressing similarity or connection with bold men and women on the streets.
They almost look like me
-Shattered glass reflects all the flaws that I am
Using shattered glass as a metaphor for self-perceived flaws.
Dysphoria kills whatever dreams that I knew that I had
Linking dysphoria to the destruction of personal dreams.
Is it the lack of power, or the confidence in me
Questioning the source of dysphoria - lack of power or confidence.
When I close my eyes, all I see is what I've been
Reflecting on the impact of dysphoria when eyes are closed.
Just a boy in a girls body, there's nothing to see
Expressing a mismatch between gender identity and physical appearance.
I am dreaming of change, yet I think I cannot be
Dreaming of change but feeling constrained by societal expectations.
Anything but what the mirror reflects back at me
Struggling with self-acceptance and external perceptions in the mirror.
Yet this body screams it isn't me, isn't me, isn't me
Highlighting the internal conflict between self and body.
I was born in the wrong body, sick in the mind
Feeling born in the wrong body and expressing mental distress.
With a different voice, and a different life
Not aligning with the assigned gender and feeling disconnected.
Had I been honest I wouldn't want to be alive
Contemplating the impact of honesty on the will to live.
In this vessel that won't represent how I feel inside
Discontent with a body that doesn't reflect inner feelings.
Should I change? I'm not who they expect me to be
Questioning the need for personal change against societal expectations.
In this world of binary I was expected to be me
Reflecting on the challenges of self-discovery in a binary world.
But I have yet to be me
Expressing a struggle to be authentic and true to oneself.
I have yet to be me
-Shattered glass reflects all the flaws that I am
Reiteration of self-perceived flaws through shattered glass.
Dysphoria kills whatever dreams that I knew that I had
Reiteration of dysphoria's impact on dreams and aspirations.
Is it the lack of power, or the confidence in me
Questioning the root cause of dysphoria, exploring power and confidence.
When I close my eyes, all I see is what I've been
Revisiting the visual impact of dysphoria when eyes are closed.
Just a boy in a girls body, there's nothing to see
Reiterating the internal struggle of being in the wrong gender's body.
I am dreaming of change, yet I think I cannot be
Desiring change but feeling constrained by societal norms.
Anything but what the mirror reflects back at me
Expressing a conflict between personal desires and societal expectations reflected in the mirror.
Yet this body screams it isn't me, isn't me, isn't me
Highlighting the internal scream of the body not aligning with the true self.
Dear Dysphoriac, I accept who I am
Addressing dysphoria directly, expressing acceptance of the self amidst the choice to change.
Irregardless of the fact I am choosing to change
Acknowledging the decision to change while respecting one's roots.
I respect my roots, I respect who I've been
Affirming respect for one's past and acknowledging a new future.
But the life that lays before me will be something new
Anticipating a future different from the past and expressing fear of non-acceptance.
And I am still afraid, I know I may not be accepted
Admitting fear but asserting self-awareness in the face of potential rejection.
But when push comes to shove, I will know who I am
Stating determination to know and assert one's true identity.
And this is who I am
Reiterating and emphasizing the acceptance of one's true self.
This is who I am
-I am coming out
Declaration of coming out and embracing one's authentic identity.
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