Rhino Cratic Oaths
Eccentric Tales of Quirky Lives Unveiled in "Rhino Cratic Oaths
Lyrics
After his second wife passed away,
Reflecting on Percy Rawlinson's increased companionship with his Alsatian owl after his second wife's death.
Percy Rawlinson seemed to spend more and more time with his alsatian owl.
Highlighting Percy's peculiar choice of companionship, spending time with an Alsatian owl.
His friends told him
Friends advising Percy to socialize more to avoid becoming isolated and eccentric.
"You should get out more, Percy, or you'll wind up looking like a dog, ha ha."
Mocking Percy's potential transformation into a dog-like appearance if he remains reclusive.
He was later arrested near a lampost.
Narrating Percy's arrest near a lampost, implying eccentric behavior or potential mental health issues.
At his trial some months later he surprised everyone by mistaking a policeman for a postman and tearing his trousers off with his bare teeth.
Describing Percy's bizarre actions during his trial, mistaking a policeman for a postman and exhibiting unusual behavior.
In his defence he told the court "It's hard to tell the difference when they take their hats off."
Percy defending himself, claiming it's hard to distinguish between policemen and postmen without their hats.
Mrs Betty Pench was playing the trombone when she heard a knock on the door.
Introducing Mrs. Betty Pench and her unexpected win in a car contest, given the option of a car or cash.
"I wonder who that is at eleven o'clock in the morning" she thought, but cautiously opened the door and instead of the turbaned ruffian she had expected, she found a very nice young man.
Describing Mrs. Pench's surprise at the visitor, expecting a "turbaned ruffian" but meeting a pleasant young man.
"Mrs. Pench, you've won the car contest, would you like a triumph spitfire or 3000 in cash?" He smiled.
Announcing Mrs. Pench's victory in the car contest and the choice between a Triumph Spitfire or 3000 in cash.
Mrs. Pench took the money. "What will you do with it all? Not that it's any of my business," he giggled.
Mrs. Pench choosing the cash, and the young man asking about her plans with the money.
"I think I'll become an alcoholic," said Betty.
Mrs. Pench humorously expressing her intention to become an alcoholic with the prize money.
With a geranium behind each ear and his face painted with gay cavalistic symbols, six foot eight seventeen stone police sergeant Geoff Bull looked jolly convincing as he sweated and grunted through a vigorous triscutine at the Fraga Gogo Viachella.
Depicting the imposing police sergeant Geoff Bull participating in a triscutine with unusual attire and symbols.
His hot surge trousers flapped wildly over his enormous plastic sandals as he jumped and jumped and gyrated towards a long-haired man.
Describing Sergeant Bull's energetic dance and his interaction with a long-haired man.
"Uh, excuse me, ma'am, I have reason to believe you can turn me on."
Quoting Sergeant Bull's suggestive remark to the long-haired man.
He leered suggestively.
Highlighting Sergeant Bull's suggestive behavior and inappropriate advances.
As if by magic dozens of truncheons appeared and they mercilessly thrashed him.
Describing the sudden appearance of truncheons, suggesting consequences for Sergeant Bull's behavior.
Poor Geoff, what a turnout for the books.
Expressing sympathy for Sergeant Bull's unexpected punishment.
Much as he hated arguments or any kind of unpleasantness, Ron Shir thought things had gone too far when, returning from a weekend in Clapton, he found that his neighbour had trimmed the enormous hedge dividing their gardens into the shape of a human leg.
Introducing Ron Shir and his displeasure at his neighbor's artistic hedge trimming.
Enraged and envious beyond belief, Ron seized his garden shears and clipped his white poodle Leo into a coffee table.
Describing Ron's extreme reaction of clipping his white poodle Leo into a coffee table in response to his neighbor's actions.
"That'll fix it," thought Ron, but he was wrong.
Reflecting on Ron's mistaken belief that his drastic action would resolve the situation.
The following Wednesday his neighbour had his bushy waist-length hair cut and permed into a model of the Queen Elizabeth and went sailing.
Narrating the neighbor's unconventional response to Ron's actions, transforming his hair into a model of Queen Elizabeth.
Everywhere he went, people said "Hooray!"
Portraying the positive reactions of people to the neighbor's transformed appearance.
Sometimes you just can't win.
Concluding with the realization that sometimes, despite efforts, one cannot emerge victorious.
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