Ben Nevis
Ben Nevis: A Gaseous Odyssey of Culinary Chaos
Lyrics
He squidges in the van,
The person referred to as 'he' is fitting uncomfortably inside the van.
All twenty four stones,
He weighs 24 stones, indicating he is very overweight.
He gets three kebabs and he eats them on his own,
He purchases three kebabs and consumes them alone.
Quick trouser cough Nevis touches cloth,
He experiences a sudden need to defecate ('touching cloth') and rushes to avoid an accident.
Fuck fuck hide behind a truck, all the windows are steaming up.
The urgency and embarrassment of the situation cause profanity and a desire to hide.
Gas gas quick lads,
Urgent instructions to address the foul-smelling situation quickly.
The air in here is turning brown,
The air inside the van is becoming polluted and discolored due to the situation.
Gas gas quick lads,
Continued urgency to address the worsening air quality.
Get the fucking windows down,
An order to lower the windows to clear the bad smell.
Gas gas quick lads,
Continued urgency to deal with the situation.
Nevis has gone and done a troof,
'Nevis' has likely defecated ('done a troof'), intensifying the urgency.
Gas gas quick lads,
Urging action as it's suspected that 'Nevis' might have fallen through the floor due to his weight.
I think the big fat twat has fallen through.
It's believed that 'Nevis' has fallen through due to his excessive weight.
Ben Nevis filled the van with odour of turd,
The van is now filled with the smell of excrement from 'Ben Nevis'.
Would have hung for less gas at Nurenburg,
Comparing the situation to the severity of a gas chamber during the Nuremberg trials.
Four chicken curries, eight tandories,
List of food items that 'Nevis' consumed, contributing to the unpleasant odor.
Boiled eggs, three kebabs fuck sake let him take command.
There's frustration at 'Nevis' for consuming so much food and causing the situation.
Gas gas quick lads,
Urgent warning about the severity of the situation.
Everyone's choked to death,
Expressing everyone's struggle to breathe due to the foul smell.
Gas gas quick lads,
Complaining about 'Nevis' causing bad breath for everyone.
Has us out with botty breath,
Suggesting digging a trench to escape the smell.
Gas gas quick lads,
Describing 'Nevis' as dirty, overweight, and producing a lot of gas.
Dig a trench, avoid the stench,
A vocal expression.
Gas gas quick lads,
'Nevis' eats baked beans, which cause an embarrassing situation.
Nevis is filthy, fat and flatulent.
'Nevis' breaks wind, leading to embarrassment for him and discomfort for others.
Yooooo.
Exclamation or vocal expression.
At a transport cafe he gets baked beans,
'Nevis' blames the dog for the smell after releasing gas.
Wretched rasp blows a hole in his jeans,
He creates a hole in his pants due to the pressure of the gas.
Everybody choking, nobody smoking,
Everyone is affected by the bad smell, despite nobody smoking.
Looks round, blames the dog,
'Nevis' blames the dog for the bad smell despite it being his fault.
Covered in a smelly fog.
'Nevis' is enveloped in a foul-smelling cloud.
Gas gas quick lads,
Urgent inquiry about what 'Nevis' has been eating.
What the fuck has he been eating,
Suspecting 'Nevis' consumed spoiled meat causing the problem.
Gas gas quick lads,
Further speculation on 'Nevis' consuming spoiled food.
He must have had some rotton meat in,
Expressing extreme discomfort due to the situation.
Gas gas quick lads,
Emotional reaction to the unpleasant situation.
I've got tears in me eyes,
Suggesting that something unpleasant might have entered 'Nevis''s rectum.
Gas gas quick lads,
Repetition of the previous line for emphasis.
I think a rat crawled up his arse hole,
Speculating that something unpleasant has died inside 'Nevis'.
I think a rat crawled up his arse hole,
Repeating the speculation about something unpleasant dying inside 'Nevis' for emphasis.
I think a rat crawled up his arse and died.
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