Not What I Was Looking For
Discovering Life's Unseen Paths
Lyrics
I've always tried
I have always attempted
To read between all the lines
To discern the hidden meanings in various situations
Sometimes I found the truth
Sometimes I discovered the reality
Other times the lie inside
Other times, I encountered deception within
How different we are
We exhibit significant differences
When it comes to the past
Especially concerning our individual histories
Some try to remember
Some strive to recall past events
Others determined to forget
While others are determined to erase them from memory
Minor tragedies
Small-scale misfortunes
Seem to take their toll on me
Appear to have a cumulative impact on me
Common tribulation
Common hardships
Seems to wear these holes in me
Seem to leave enduring marks on my being
Spent all my money
I spent all my wealth
Like earning it was no chore
As if earning it required no effort
Spent all my time
I devoted all my time
Like I'd always find some more
Assuming I would always have more
Although I'm older
Despite being older
I just might be wiser too
I may have gained wisdom
One day I'll figure out
One day, I will understand my purpose
What it is I'm supposed to do
What I am meant to achieve
Universe inside of me
The vast cosmos resides within me
Prisoner with no parole
I am a captive without any chance of release
Black hole inside of me
A profound emptiness dwells within me
Wanting to swallow me whole
Yearning to consume me entirely
I'm only half a man
I am only half of a complete person
From the day that I was born
Since the day I was born
First I hid and then I ran
Initially, I concealed, then I fled
So much from me has been torn
Many aspects of myself have been torn away
Waves kept throwing me
Waves persistently thrust me
Against all your rocky shores
Against the harshness of your challenging circumstances
Usually the thing I found
Typically, what I discovered
Wasn't what I was looking for
Was not the intended outcome of my search
Not what I was looking for
This is not the result I sought
Not what I was looking for
Not the goal I had in mind
Not what I was looking for
Not the answer I was hoping for
Not what I was looking for
Not the destination I aimed for
Not what I was looking for
This is not what I was searching for
Not what I was looking for
This is not the outcome I anticipated
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