Comaxtose
Navigating Despair: Heart To Heart's Struggle with Self-Destruction
Lyrics
Pull it together I tell myself.
Pulling oneself together is advised.
It hurts depending on something else.
Pain is linked to dependency on external factors.
So I try writing my pain away.
Attempting to alleviate pain through writing.
But it always stays most of these days.
Pain persists despite efforts to express it.
I'm holding myself alone
Feeling isolated and alone.
Down this dead never-ending road.
Navigating a desolate and endless path.
It gets harder to take, harder to fake.
Increasing difficulty in enduring and pretending.
I keep trying, but I'm failing you.
Struggling and failing to meet expectations.
(It gets cold every night on these floorboards. I keep slipping away from everything that matters to me.)
Cold nights on the floor symbolize detachment and slipping away from important aspects of life.
This is beyond my control.
Admitting lack of control over the situation.
It's not up to me how this all ends.
Acknowledging uncertainty about the outcome.
Those reasons I may never know.
Uncertainty about the reasons behind certain feelings.
How can I keep my head above this rising water?
Struggling to stay afloat amidst overwhelming challenges.
(I keep sinking. I keep sinking.)
Continued sinking despite efforts.
So I'll just do what I'm good at.
Choosing to maintain a facade of normalcy.
Smile and just do what I'm told.
Conforming to external expectations.
I'm screaming so loud in my head that my throat is about to explode.
Internal turmoil expressed through silent screams.
I'm comatose.
Feeling emotionally numb and unresponsive.
So let's just do what we're good at.
Advocating conformity despite inner struggles.
Shut up and just do what we're told.
Suppressing individuality and complying with external demands.
I'm screaming so loud in my dreams that my head is about to explode.
Intense inner turmoil reflected in dreams.
I keep looking for the next high.
Seeking distraction and escape through highs.
Leaning on this crutch to keep myself in line.
Dependency on a crutch to maintain stability.
It's my enabling.
Acknowledging personal contribution to the struggle.
The fact that I am wavering between this reality and mine.
Wavering between the harsh reality and a personal escape.
So why go out
Questioning the need to confront challenges.
face the lions?
Avoiding confrontation with difficulties.
Just stay silent,
Choosing silence over expression.
Show defiance,
Showcasing resistance and opposition.
And grow.
Potential for personal growth through defiance.
We're just falling in deeper now.
Falling into deeper struggles.
So let's just sleep it all away.
Suggesting escapism through sleep.
We're drifting in dangerous waters now.
Navigating perilous and uncertain circumstances.
So let's just sleep it all away.
Escaping challenges through sleep.
It's never enough for me.
Expressing dissatisfaction with the status quo.
It's never enough...
Reiterating the insufficiency of the current situation.
I'm comatose.
Emphasizing emotional numbness and detachment.
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