If I Get Old
Navigating Shadows: Jake Rozier's Poignant Reflections on Growth and Redemption
Lyrics
Well I've been digging through my mind
Reflecting on personal thoughts and experiences
Just trying to find something that I can use to justify
Searching for justification in one's mind
Going back to living how I used to think that I'd die, but I
Contemplating a return to a past way of life
Just keep on digging through my mind
Continuing the introspective process
But you keep telling me I won't
Encountering skepticism or doubt from someone else
You say you wish I knew all of these things that I still don't
Desire for understanding and knowledge from others
And sometimes giving up feels like it's getting real damn close
Struggling with the idea of giving up
But you keep telling me I won't
Receiving encouragement despite challenges
And I fight with myself every day
Internal conflict and self-sabotage
I made a habit out of getting into my own way and I
Pattern of hindering personal progress
Can feel it killing me real slow
Suffering from a slow, self-destructive process
And vices feel like a long lost friend
Dependence on harmful habits as coping mechanisms
'Til they beat you down all over again and I
Awareness of the destructive cycle
Know that I'll have to let them go
Acceptance of the need to break free from vices
If I get old
Contemplating the consequences of aging
I've been standing on the edge
Long-standing struggle with inner turmoil
For so long now it's gotten too damn hard not to pretend
Difficulty in maintaining authenticity
That this is just how I am bound to be until it ends
Acceptance of a predetermined fate
So I keep standing on that edge
Persisting in a precarious situation
But you keep pulling me right back
External influences pulling back into struggle
Further, but not far enough that I'm able to relax
Struggling but unable to fully escape
And it's hard to see what you have over everything you lack
Difficulty in recognizing the value in one's life
So you keep pulling me right back
Recurrent challenges despite efforts
And I fight with myself every day
Continuation of internal conflict
I made a habit out of getting into my own way
Repeating self-sabotage and hindrance
I keep picking up more weight than I can hold
Struggling with overwhelming burdens
And I can't see me how she does
Perception of oneself in a negative light
It's dark in the shadow of who I was
Nostalgia for a past, possibly better version of oneself
But someday those weeds will be overgrown
Hope for personal growth in the future
If I get old
Revisiting contemplation of aging
And I fight with myself every day
Continued internal struggle and conflict
I made a habit out of hiding from my own damn brain
Avoidance and evasion of personal challenges
Just feed the flame, pray that it gets cold
Wishing for a change in mental state
But I got my woman and I got myself
Acknowledgment of personal relationships
And I know that I don't need nothing else
Recognition of self-sufficiency
To shed the weight and sift through all the smoke
Commitment to self-improvement and clarity
And if I've gone this far and still got by
Reflection on personal resilience
Give me one good reason that I can't still try to
Seeking reasons to persist and improve
Buy back the parts of me I sold
Desire to reclaim lost aspects of oneself
And I never thought I'd live to see twenty-five
Surprising survival and reflection on life expectancy
And when there's nothing to lose, there's nothing to mind
Acceptance of minimal attachment and concern
What scares me most is I'm starting to hope
Fear and uncertainty about developing hope
That I'll get old
Contemplation and acceptance of aging
That I'll get old
Expressing the hope of reaching old age
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