Lyrics
Twelve years old, I suddenly felt the world look at me
Feeling self-conscious and observed by the world at the age of twelve.
My bones, every inch of my body, size ten
Expressing dissatisfaction with body size, specifically size ten.
Size three, no size made me happy
Regardless of the size, finding no contentment or happiness.
Seventeen, same thing, just wishing I was anyone but me
At seventeen, still longing to be someone else, indicating persistent self-esteem issues.
Nineteen, I'm still waiting for the day
Waiting for a day when self-hatred related to food choices diminishes.
I don't hate myself for what I ate
Struggling with self-esteem despite changing numerical aspects; appearance remains constant.
Numbers change but I look the same
Highlighting the persistence of physical appearance despite numerical changes.
They say one day, you'll grow old and it'll go away
Hoping that with aging, the struggles with self-image will naturally fade away.
I thought all of this ended in high school
Expressing a mistaken belief that issues with self-perception would end after high school.
I thought I wouldn't feel the way I do
Realizing that the expected resolution from high school didn't occur; ongoing emotional struggle.
Everyday I wish that I could be someone new
Desiring a fresh start as someone else every day, indicating dissatisfaction with one's identity.
I've never looked in the mirror and saw what I wanted to
Never seeing the desired reflection in the mirror, suggesting a persistent negative self-image.
If it's impossible to be what I want myself to be
Pondering the difficulty of becoming the desired self and questioning the possibility.
How will I ever be happy?
Raising the concern that achieving personal goals seems impossible and may hinder happiness.
How will I ever love me?
Questioning the ability to love oneself if the ideal self seems unattainable.
I thought all of this ended in high school
Repeating the misconception that high school would be the end of self-esteem struggles.
But I was wrong 'cause I feel the way I did and the way I do, oh
Realizing the persistence of emotional struggles, contrary to the initial belief.
Everyday I wish that I could be someone new
Expressing a daily desire for a new identity, indicating ongoing dissatisfaction.
I've never looked in the mirror and saw what I wanted to
Continuing to face dissatisfaction with one's reflection in the mirror.
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