Lyrics
The phone rings, I try not to avoid things
The speaker is receiving a phone call and is trying not to avoid dealing with issues.
Staring into the void and I'm sinking in
The speaker is contemplating life's emptiness and feeling a sense of sinking or despair.
It's like when Luke saw Anakin
A reference to a moment in "Star Wars" where Luke Skywalker sees the dark side in his father, Anakin.
Seeing all the damages, reacting like "You're still a sack of shit"
Reflecting on past damages and expressing disdain towards someone.
Relationship complicated to say the least
Describing a complicated relationship, possibly with family or a significant other.
Wondering if I'll feel the same when he's deceased
Questioning if emotions will remain the same after someone's death.
I remember grandpa dying, never seen that sadness in your eyes
Recalling the sadness witnessed in a family member's eyes when the speaker's grandpa passed away.
Reluctantly providing a shoulder to cry on
Reluctantly offering support and comfort to someone in distress.
Should I let bygones be bygones?
Contemplating whether to forgive and forget past grievances.
Trying to to turn me against my mom
Someone attempting to influence the speaker's opinion about their mother.
Verbal attacks on me and my brother's self-esteem
Verbal attacks affecting the self-esteem of the speaker and their sibling.
Made me confuse strength with being hella mean
Confusing strength with unkindness due to negative influences.
My perspective now is what lead to this
The speaker's current perspective is shaped by past experiences.
Deep embedded memories I bet you regretting
Past memories that are deeply embedded, potentially causing regret.
Times like these I remember actually
Recalling specific moments from the past.
That your journey was way worse than I could ever imagine
Acknowledging that the speaker's struggles may be less than those of others.
And some of my homies didn't even have this
Some friends have faced even more challenging situations.
So I guess should appreciate what I can get
Expressing the need to appreciate what one has, despite difficulties.
And yet, all I remember is the bad shit
Despite positive aspects, the speaker mainly remembers negative experiences.
Asking myself am I doomed to repeat these actions?
Questioning the potential repetition of negative actions in the speaker's life.
Some I already have and it kills me
Regret over actions taken, possibly leading to negative consequences.
Not sure how you could just live feeling guilty
Expressing confusion about how someone can live with guilt.
Eyes water staring into the fucking fire
Tears in the eyes while contemplating something intense, possibly symbolized by fire.
Thinking this could use another liar
Suggesting a need for more deception or falsehood in a situation.
You're not as good as you wanna believe
A self-critical statement about not being as good as one believes.
Every time in front of the mirror, you got up to leave
Reflection on leaving or abandoning oneself in front of a mirror.
Accountability, doubt he got humility
Doubt about someone's accountability and humility.
Unfortunately this could be about him or me
Uncertainty whether the speaker or someone else is being referred to in the lyrics.
Built a lot on a lie
Building a significant part of life based on a falsehood.
Trying to kill the thoughts in my mind
Attempting to suppress troubling thoughts.
The venomous from a toxic bloodline
Referring to the toxicity within the speaker's family bloodline.
Fuck it I'm a pick up and drop it, it's fine
A resigned attitude towards a situation, accepting it as fine to pick up and drop.
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