Caving In
Embracing Descent: Seeking Numbness Amidst Inner Turmoil
Lyrics
Blacked out again
Experiencing blackout again, likely from substance use.
But it's not enough to get me back
Despite the blackout, it's insufficient to bring back past numbness.
To the numbness that locked me in
Reflecting on a previous state of emotional numbness.
So this time around
In the current situation, a decision is made to intensify the experience.
I'll take a little extra to send me deeper down
Choosing to consume more substances to deepen the state of intoxication.
Why does it hurt to want to feel good?
Questioning the pain associated with the desire for pleasure.
I'm trying harder
Expressing increased effort to overcome challenges.
I've reached out
Reaching out for support or connection.
But, if time allows,
Contemplating the possibility of persistence if time allows.
I'll leave extremities deadened to stick around
Willingness to endure negative consequences to stay in a certain situation.
Take it all to feel numb
Willing to sacrifice everything to achieve emotional numbness.
Sit and wait? I can't at all
Unable to wait and must take action to avoid discomfort.
Push it back with the others
Delaying negative feelings by distracting with other activities.
Down it with another
Consuming substances to cope with emotions.
I never learned to take my time so
Acknowledging a lack of patience in learning to handle situations.
I'll take it all
Committing to taking everything, possibly indicating a self-destructive behavior.
I think I'm finally caving in
Admitting to succumbing to external pressures or vices.
Now I don't even know who I am
Feeling lost and unsure of one's identity.
I think I'm finally caving in
Reiterating the sense of giving in to negative influences.
Clawing at the cliff side
Struggling and desperately trying to hold on to something.
Nostalgia drag me down
Nostalgia causing a descent into negative emotions.
I know better than that
Recognizing the need for better decision-making.
Waking up, cold
Awakening in a cold and uncomfortable state.
Sweating on the floor
Experiencing physical discomfort, possibly a consequence of substance use.
Never been so close to giving up
Being close to giving up, facing a significant challenge.
Take it all to feel numb
Repeating the willingness to sacrifice everything for emotional numbness.
Sit and wait? I can't at all
Unable to wait and must take immediate action.
Push it back with the others
Using distractions to cope with negative emotions.
Down it with another
Consuming substances as a coping mechanism.
I never learned to take my time so
Reflecting on a lack of patience in learning to manage time and emotions.
I'll take it all
Committing to taking everything, reinforcing a self-destructive pattern.
Comment