Playing with Knives
Living the Dream: Struggles of Lost Friends & Internal Battles
Lyrics
I'm gonna have to ask you to keep your distance
I request you to maintain a distance from me.
Cause my friends don't stay alive for long
My friends have a short lifespan, and they often don't survive for long.
And while I'm pretty good at starting fires
Although I am skilled at initiating conflicts or troubles.
I'd be damned to know how to put one out
I am unable to handle or resolve difficult situations.
I'm gonna have to ask you to show some patience
I need you to be patient because I move very slowly or may not move at all.
Cause I move at a snails pace if I'm moving at all
My interactions are sluggish, and I encounter my friends only in dreams where they often meet unfortunate ends.
I see me friends when I meet them, and in my dreams they all die
I experience a series of funerals and unfortunate events, feeling the weight on my chest as life becomes increasingly challenging.
That's why I say I'm living the dream whenever you stop by
Despite the hardships, I claim to be living the dream when you are around, emphasizing the contrast between reality and my aspirations.
From funeral to funeral, from one bad call to the next
My life is marked by a succession of funerals and poor decisions, causing me to feel a continuous descent through difficulties.
I am falling through the floor, the walls push upon my chest
The challenges become overwhelming, pressing on me both physically and mentally.
It's not normal it's not normal, but than what again what really is
I acknowledge that my situation is abnormal, but question the concept of normalcy in general.
I will never get what I deserve and all my friends, they deserved to live
I feel undeserving of positive outcomes, and I mourn the loss of my friends who deserved better lives.
I'm gonna have to ask you to hate me like I do
I urge you to hate me as much as I hate myself, seeking justification for the deep-seated loathing within me.
Cause I need to justify this loathing inside my chest
Justification for the intense dislike is necessary to cope with the emotions in my chest.
When you are stuck in a life that takes a little bit at a time
Life gradually erodes away, taking pieces of me over time.
When given time, you will fin that you have, well you will have nothing left
Given enough time, one realizes that there is nothing substantial remaining.
I will have nothing left
I foresee a future where I will have nothing left.
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave like they all do
I request you to leave, mirroring the departure of others in my life.
I'm a stray cat that only pretends to get attached
I liken myself to a stray cat, feigning attachment but ultimately remaining detached.
I'm on the fence about a lot of things, most of these things grand scheme mean nothing
I am uncertain about many things, realizing that in the grand scheme, most of these uncertainties hold little significance.
But all I can think about is leaving and never coming back
Despite the uncertainties, my overwhelming desire is to leave and never return.
I'm never coming back
A declaration of a firm decision not to return.
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